Wait, where is the camera again?

Ron Swanson wouldn't want your internet fame or memes. He'd donate one gold brick to the cause, after digging it up from its hiding place in cover of darkness. Then his daughters would dump an ice bucket on his head.

Everybody's getting what they want, baby-wise, or baby-not-wise! Hooray!

Fuck the age thing. Fuck it in the ass with a pogo stick. I was 29 before I asked myself shit or get off the pot. I'm 39 now. It's been a rough decade...and I'm living the dream. And a decade from now? I'll look at myself today and think, wow, where did the last 10 years go.

There is a market for short stories, though…

I'm know I'm a lovely shade of palest dove gray, but I just have to shout this one: I'M NOT FUCKING PREGNANT! I'm smiling reading through the comments section and seeing that others are getting their reproductive answers granted - babies in wombs, yay!-but I do not want little ones. I just don't. My husband feels…

First things first: making a living off your writing is a tough road.

"DAMMIT! THEY DIDN'T SAY 'SIMON SAYS!'"

RIGHT? COMEDY GOLD, PEOPLE. OR MAYBE MORE LIKE COMEDY ZINC. COMEDY ZINC, PEOPLE.

Maybe it was an Indian person making Hindu symbols...

Michael Brown was sentenced to death without a trial.

I hope everyone can be patient during all of this and I hope the community can stay peaceful.

EDIT: Meant for this response to be visible to the entire Jezebel staff, hope they see it.

At first, the most shocking thing to me about this was that 1993 was over 20 years ago...

You've clearly never read James Joyce.

It seems fake, but I don't know. My aunt made $7500 last week just by using her computer.

Funny? Dude, we're talking about the first human on Mars! It's not funny, it's historic!

I always wonder about comments like this. Are you really so stupid as to not understand that magazines like Ebony are a response to a lack of representation in "mainstream" (read "white") publications? I mean, are you?

Also, I hear there are like a lot of women of color who don't live in the US. Like a couple billion.

Wait. What are you trying to say?