I’m kind of in love with her.

If Mr. Happy is happy that is one impressive dump!

Wait wait wait.. So as a broad, I’ve never seen a woman in a public bathroom ever with her pants down around her ankles. I had no idea this was a thing for guys! I did once ask my husband how he accounted for pee coming out while going poo though.

Side note about crock pots - they make these little mini ones now that make like, a single serving.

Yeah, I’d say half of my graduating class lives in Chicago. With a small contingent scattered to the wind in other states. But there are some who never leave Michigan City. And I just wonder why. It’s a nice place to visit but there is nothing there in terms of economic opportunity. Jobs are all retail service based…

I’ve seen someone clip their toenails on the red line here in Chicago. So much nope with that. And Saw a hobo stand up, stick his hand in his pants and adjust himself on the blue line (while gripping a 40 oz in his free hand). The funk that was generated was something I’ll never forget. I’ve also been witness to…

#notallHoosiers (you just knew someone was gonna go there, right?)

Right? Obama is so center right, on par with Nixon in terms of policy yet the right screams about his overly liberal policies ruining America.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Lagerfeld comment that was nice. It’s like asshole runs through his bones. I am by no means a Kim fan but sheesh that was way harsh.

Am I the only person who feels like that Lagerfeld comment was the worst kind of backhanded compliment?

I’ve experienced a couple of stints of extended unemployment in the recent past. During those times I spent a lot of my time cooking. I really refind my palate and got more confidence in my cooking skills because it was kind of all I had to keep me sane while looking for employment. Sometimes I throw stuff together…

Me too.. Me too!

My bridal fitness routine was to just not GAF. I was a size 26W when I got married. Since then I’ve lost 100 lbs and 10 clothing sizes (but that is neither here nor there). But if I were to get married today my bridal fitness plan would still be to give zero fucks. There is way too much pressure to be your best you.…

I turned 18 in 1995. My first election was 1996. I’ve not missed an election in that time. When I move, one of the first things I do is make sure I’m registered to vote and find my poling place. Then when it comes to voting, I actually do it. Swearsies! I even vote in mid-term elections and in February when Chicago…

I’d like everyone in congress to eat a bag of dicks. I’d like to work half a year and make $174,000.

You win the internet for the day.

If you can’t afford to spring for food at your own wedding you really need to call it a day and get married at the county court house. Or have a much smaller wedding. 82% of those assholes you invite to your wedding are only going for the free booze anyhow.. if you can’t afford that no one is going to show up.

Normally in the morning, while I’m getting ready for work, I have the TV on. I have issues with it being quiet while I’m trying to wake up - I need the noise to get me going. Anyhow, since GMA has insisted on having that bloviating windbag on via phone or in person EVERY DAY, I’ve had to change my morning routine. I…

Okay, there were some earthquakes in Arizona last night as well. AMERICA IS SPLITTING IN TWO AND THESE ARE THE END DAYS. *Insert mass hysteria here*.

I just skip the month each month. I’ve purchased a couple of outfits and they are nice and well made, but tomorrow I will log on to Fabletics and skip the month, regardless of whether or not I actually will buy anything at a later date.