My favorite mount is still the mummy camel. And my favorite weapon is the mummy cat beating stick. It gives me joy whenever I get them. 

I’m going to have to put "unmellanated stupidity" in my rotation for future use. 

I’d say that it was the fact that she sold her soul and a demon has been drinking her life essence. Kind of like in The Dark Crystal.

I had to cancel a trip to Paris in May. Stupid Rona. I was ready to see how it compared to AC: Unity. But I did feel a little bit of Video Game Deja Vu when I went to San Francisco two years ago. I was channeling Marcus as I went around. I felt like I’d already visited Coit Tower and Alcatraz. (I didn’t play the…

This article is a level of petty I aspire to.

They can die in Supernova (nightmare) mode, if you roll that way.

I have 20/20 vision and barely visible is almost always too dark for me on my fancy blacker than the depths of your immortal soul black that my TV goes to. My TV has a video game mode that makes the game brighter as well. It’s magical.

I will never call a goatee anything other than a Bear’s Asshole from now on.

If you run a marathon and train for a marathon you are a runner.  I personally only will run during a zombie apocalypse or if there is an outbreak of creepy clowns in downtown Chicago.  I’m not a runner.  You are most definitely a runner.

But, I don’t want to wait that long. #selfish.

I have 5 of the same snap front cardigans I got from Zulily.  Black, gray, purple, aqua and a coraly-orange color. I have the same pair of Wit & Wisdom jeggings from Nordstrom in black and blue.  I buy in multiples when I like things. I’ve got no shame.

I’m sitting here at my desk eating a sub with giardiniera. I’m peak Chicago, right now. But, no shame. I own my love of the stuff.

This is fascinatingly untrue for Chicago. I live on a Street that is parallel to an Avenue. Though, once you get past Pulaski the north south/streets predominantly start with the same letter K, L, M, N... (on the north side anyhow.. not sure how they do on the south side since the street names do not always carry on).

I never got a driver’s license (I know, I’m odd for a native midwesterner). I’ve got an Aldi two blocks from me, and a Jewel half a mile walk from me. Mariano’s is a CTA ride east though. But at least it is a straight shot.  I live in a heavily hispanic neighborhood, so I have a lot of Mexican groceries around too. 

Aldi has a really good selection of organic stuff now.  Also, may I suggest Mariano’s since you are here in Chicago.  Mariano’s is a magical wonderland.

Texas is a lot less red and a lot more purple than it appears to be though.  It’s just gerrymandered to hell and back.  I would honestly think it will go blue in an upcoming election.  Maybe not 2020, but 2022 or 2024?

I’m unlucky enough to get run over by some angry cabbie here in Chicago. Hard pass.

Erik did Gary wrong. He’s probably the coworker who eats your lunch even though you put your name on it.

Spirit is the devil.  I bet Frontier is one of his closest minions. 

Just as long as my beloved Peleton isn’t into T-Rump.  I love the fucking Peleton bike.  I am not ashamed.  And you can buy one and stream the workouts in the privacy of your own home if you are flush in cash (I’m not, but a girl can dream).