Peleton has a digital app. You can use ANY spinning bike or ANY treadmill and hand weights. Live or on demand classes for a two week free trial then 19.49 a Month. I love it....

At some point Lucifer is going to personally drag Bill Belichick back to Hell and when he does *somebody* has to win the damn Super Bowl.

Jim Irsay would probably sign the desiccated corpse of Johnny Unitas before Kaepernick, and most of the fan base would nod and agree with the decision.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

Why do chinless conservative dorks like Miller and Seb Gorka think a goatee makes them look distinguished instead of making their mouth look like a bear’s asshole?

Yeah. If you can run over 8 miles, on a 9 minute split?? You're a runner LOL

That jaw unhinges and he eats things whole. 

This is why you keep all your doors locked. Its not just criminals that you have to worry about. They came in like they did because the kid probably told them to go pound sand the day before.

I was expecting a two-word article: “Double doink.” The end.

Counter-counterpoint: Malort is awful. In medical school, I did a psych consult on a guy at Cook County Hospital after he had drunk turpentine because he was starting to go into DT’s. I asked him why he had done such a thing, which was my job, and he said “it was that or Malort.”

Trump: “Wait a minute. No president has done what I’ve done.”

First off, his drivers license says 6'3, at 6'3 and 240, you qualify as obese, So I call bs on those numbers. Second, I’m, just shy of 6'4 (like closer to 6'4 than 6'3.5)  Last time I weighed myself I was 226, last year I got up to 234.  No way in fucking hell does Trump only weigh 239.  Ive seen photos of him in a…

Absolutely. The demographics point to Texas becoming a competitive state very soon, and possibly a blue state within a generation.

And gerrymandering doesn’t affect Senatorial and Presidential elections, only Representatives.

Uncanny valley!

I'm all for spelling, punctuation, and effective sentence structure.

As a Chicagoan who flies several times a year, I’ll take Midway over O’hare any day of the week.

That man will never be able to enter a black barbershop again.

I fell the fuck out of my chair at that. I would be surprised if the guy’s name WASN’T Parker Willoughby now. 

Jesus Christ, Charles. These submissions are supposed to be depressing in a funny way, not straight up depressing.