The team clarified that next to Theismann’s name is not actually the retired number 7, just a picture of his tibia.

I missed Alex Spanos. McNair, Spanos, Paul Allen, Tom Benson. Any more?

I ran it over my wrist to make sure it wouldn’t burn the baby’s mouth

As interesting as it is to hear Rodger Wyland describe what the local basketball coaches’ scrotums taste like, I am also upset that they’ve made it more difficult to listen to Le Batard.

there is a big offer from China

(I walk on stage at a press conference after another long day at the office)

This also happened in Minnesota, but Blair Qalsh couldn’t really fault someone for pushing too far to the left.

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

My favorite thing about this piece is how little Barry is gonna have to change it tomorrow. Just do a find all on “Showalter,” replace it with “Collins,” and make a few other tweaks. Like presumably Eric Campbell hits for Jay Bruce in a big spot because, you know, “I thought Soup was due. It didn’t work out.”

You’d have to have a pretty crazy reason to do something like this on purpose. Schilling’s just pointing out the obvious: the person responsible clearly had a loco motive.

Curt hasn’t been this invested in a trainwreck since 38 Studios.

It’s sort of a funny coincidence, but the number 69 also refers to a sex act.

Neat.

Or ears ... am I late?

Or ears.

Or ears.

PICTURED: Mike Tyson Baskin’ after alleged Robbin’.