That's impossible. Management says no job pays ten thousand dollars.

The above joke was told to me by President Obama. I'm close personal friends with President Barack Obama, and he told me that joke. "Put this on Deadspin," he said to me. "You're an approved commenter, I don't want this buried down in the pending comments. This is a good joke. No, I can't post it myself, you idiot,…

More like Don Bear-y.

Iyiyi this is a stretch. Sounds like its pretty proportionate to population size... Texas and Florida are both huge states so it makes sense they would produce a proportionately high percentage of amateur porn. Furthermore, those states all have large liberal/collegiate metropolitan areas (Lexington, Atlanta, New…

Wait, are you serious? My criminal defense attorney didn't give me his cell-phone number for three years, and I'm probably his best client.

Bynum: RAINDROPS!

As with most other things in Sochi, those burgers were assembled only three days ago.

"Larry McMurtry."

Why no "on your back" skeleton event?

Waiter: Can I start you off with something to drink sir?

BoC: Excuse me, waiter, I'll have an Arnold Palmer.

It's an elaborate suicide kit, Cathal. The 'facts' guide gives you reason to question you career choice. The eye-shade is to block out the cold, lifeless eyes of the bear, which exactly mimic you father's when you told him you were going to be a journalism major and not an engineer. Finally, the ethernet cord is to…

Wake up Maggie, I think I got something to say to you

+1701

+1 light

Now we get to see to what degree the iO9 crowd spills into the Deadspin group. I, for one, understand this reference and applaud it.

Shouldn't Stewart be sporting the "C" on his jersey?

Without commenting on potential tackiness, no one's paying for this. It's a newly built plane that needs test flights anyway. This one's flight path just happens to be a PR stunt at the same time.

Man, Idaho was so close to picking up their 12th man.