Don't get me wrong; it hurts me too, man. Writing that section was oddly therapeutic. I went to that last game and cried when Kevin Dineen and Andrew Cassel all those beautiful bastards tossed all their gear into the stands. We can bleed together. Brass Bonanza forever.

FIRST FOUR OUT:

This should be the DUAN song:

Thus the world's most difficult game claims another, who will go home to his wife complaining, "I really hit it like ass today."

Oh look, the banana slices look like 8s and Jr. drives the 88 car. Branding, branding everywhere.

[crushes big ass] "Hey, thanks for the roll in the hay, Mrs. Love Sponge!" [runs home]

"Wow, that's in really poor taste in a sexual way."

I think the presence of all these clichés (I would rather see them as tropes because I'm 10,000 leagues deep in the tank for TD) reinforces the notion that True Detective is, on one very interesting level, a love letter to the buddy-cop genre. Why mess with a formula that produces great entertainment?

+2 spectacularly unnecessary tubes of fabric

Cronin was just taking after his idol on the Unhappy Camper pantheon, Sam Shakusky.

"A reporter is drawn to a small Florida town to investigate a series of strange events, including psychic visions and the appearance of bizarre entities, such as a dinosaur playing basketball."

Yeah, and now he's dead. QED.

Breakfast foods, ranked:

I'm so pleased that "The Lady in No. 6" projects to win the Documentary Short Oscar. I hope it happens; what an amazing life she lived.

It wasn't until after meeting Miss Duke that representatives from numerous NFL teams commented on the young QB prospect's "great fakes."

"Come on, breakfast meat purveyors of America. You mean to tell me you gave Kotsenburg a bacon medal but no sauSAGE medal to accompany it? Do I have to think of EVERYTHING for you people? ...[plagiarizes remainder of column from past columns]"

Is this the beginning of the next "Motorpsycho Nightmare"? I hope so.

That's awesome, xeagar. Had not seen that either.

Re: men being fertile their whole lives, I learned yesterday that there are two grandchildren of US President #10 John Tyler who are still alive today. Keep in mind that Tyler was born in 1790! His grandsons are something like 89 and 93 today.

"150 Stinky Dreads"