Wait a second, Kris Bensons' full first name is "Kristin"?

"Well shit, that ain't Carlos Boozer!"

I kind of hope that that article was a) meant to be satire and failed miserably, or b)was not actually written by her. But I feel like the chances of either are slim.

What a wretched human being. I wish we knew her name or at least her Twitter handle so the Internet could rain down upon her all the vitriol she deserves.

I'll take "People About Whom The Name of The Country They're In Also Describes Their Relationship To Everyone Else In The Immediate Vicinity" for $400, Alex.

Oh my yes, this will do nicely.

"Mah vowte is fawr Ishtar, yawl, becawse who cayres abowt these minawrity tahpes, am I raght?"

But did they write "This time it's personal" in English or Japanese?

He's taking a page out of the Elizabeth Taylor Media Relations Playbook, which advises never to talk to the media about any of your nées.

Duke is just about the nicest guy to ever play pro golf. Contrast it to formerly humble current colossal jagoff Bubba Watson who shoved the blame on his caddie for two shitty crunchtime shots that cost him the tournament. Long live the Duke.

These venues are making me thirsty!

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Republicans defeated the Democrats handily Thursday night in one of the more lopsided Congressional Baseball Games in recent history. The GOP team was led by Marco Rubio, who went 3-5 with a home run, a double and 4 RBI. In his post-game interview, Rubio claimed to have been inspired by the recent…

"Sign him up!"

"The San Antonio Spurs picked Tim Duncan on June 25, 1997, the same day as the Washington Bullets selected God Shammgod from Providence College...Both Duncan and God have generated so many classic moments in the history of the universe, they practically blend into each other now."

Man, I can't WAIT to see this!

Is that a rough draft of Sapphire's latest poem?

I never realized how closely he resembled Tom Waits.

The italicized passage from the article might be the most over-written garbage I've ever read. I'd be willing to bet that Benjamin Schwartz thinks he's "charming." And that's probably part of the whole problem here.

When Stephen A. Smith And Skip Bayless Face Off On "First Take," It's Fuckface Supreme

Couple quick points: