You are the worst.

And Charles Wang.

God bless Washington, DC, where you're either the Skins, or you're irrelevant. And if you're the Skins, you're still irrelevant.

I'm not surprised Detroit Tigers fans are tuning in to games. It's dangerous outside during the summer.

The most intriguing part of this game is that Senators were hosting Indians. I thought they only relocated them.

TRACTION PARK

The first time I went to Action park as a kid I saw that looping slope end nearly shit my pants.

Class Action Park! Never forgive, never forget!

Trust me, you don't want the full pipe.

Every country has sent its correspondents, he says, "except the Spanish, God bless them."

My name is Emil Kaiypov. I am a citizen of the Kyrgyz Republic, a lawyer, and a father of two children. The proposal for which I am asking your kind support is the suspension of all currently existing hostilities on Earth.

The main goal of my entire project is to save and improve the lives of children who are suffering…

Here's pink in your eye!

In many ways Russia seems more and more like hyper-America. Super nationalist with strong racist/homophobic tendencies.

This is nothing. Millions of Russians are stuck in the closet.

In an ironic twist, the elevator actually has better bathroom facilities.

This guy just can't catch a brake. Doesn't really bode well for the team's chances.

In order to get to a place in our society where it truly, truly doesn't matter, we have to go through an awkward phase where unfortunately it does matter a whole lot. What I'm saying is whenever you see some dipshit comment on Mr. Sam's story with a "WHO CARES?," tell them to shut the fuck up.

No. Because our athletes are sleepy, due to pillow-deprivation......and their hands are covered with fecal matter, throwing off their center of gravity.

The Battleship Lorenzen, unfortunately, never made it back to port..

That's what he gets for cleaning his monocle with Sochi water.