They could also be a robot, since only machines use spray lube, and therefore never alive and incapable of death.

Tapatio, obviously.

This is a contradiction. If you use Pam spray, you are already dead.

I have been telling everyone: skhug (specifically the red kind). Find it. Buy it. Love it. Bathe in it.*

May hornets built a hive in your brain.

Ben Franklin never said this... but it is a fun saying.

And if you rearrange the features on Darren Rovell's face, it brings satisfaction.

Tip: NONE, FORREST, NONE

If only a good guy with a gun had been there.

Wow. That's decently understandable English. I'm impressed, Alabama.

Well most SEC fans didn't go to any college so he's far ahead of them.

hey man this is Alabama, the 9th grade is consider graduate school.

For a bachelor, every day is Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is just a bonus.

But that method will probably result in no fireballs whatsoever! :-(

Australian scientists?

Salad doesn't belong on this list, unless it is that congealed jello fruit salad your Grandma has been making every year for the past 40 years. Then, you just pass it off to the dog anyway.

Salad is ranked? I never once have had a Thanksgiving meal where salad was even an option. Those who serve useless stomach-bloating salad at Thanksgiving clearly support terrorism.

I intend to eat Cincinnati Chili tomorrow in protest of Albert Burneko.

Green bean casserole over mashed potatoes? Nice knowing you, Albert!

1. Everything listed below mixed together and covered in gravy