As much as I'd like to see an inaugural entry into the Foodspin Wing of the DSHOF, I don't think this is worth my vote.

I will give thanks to the cornucopia of riches that will spring forth on a cross-post to Jezebel.

Why bother negotiating? It's not like he'd ever take no for an answer.

Cue the people who don't know how countdowns work in 3...2...1....

Hahahaha that's pretty hilarious. Nice work.

I really hope this story has a happy ending.

Even though it really doesn't look like it, the deal was apparently consensual.

Commenters: Rape jokes aren't funny and we don't want them on the site. Knock it off.

Mike Breen is the best straight man in the business. This is some Imus in the Morning 20/20 Sports level stuff.

Hoboken, NJ. Bar is called Mulligans, the urinals have little soccer goals over the drains with a tiny soccer ball tied to them. I think I scored 10 goals in a single piss once.

A pro Nazi? You mean I could be getting paid for that?

Lee Trevino bet him $500 he couldn't hit three balls with one swing.

Haldane's essay "On Being the Right Size" has one of my all-time favorite lines:

This is all kind of moot. Eli will almost certainly never catch Peyton for the record of deepest pick.

If there was ever a posterchild for a site called "Regressing," it's Eli Manning.

True. New England Tear Chowder is far superior to Manhattan Tear Chowder.

Dinner party at the Marchman estate! We'll be serving brown rice and unsweetened green tea, and for entertainment we will sit in the dark and listen to a recording of a light drizzle on the rooftops of Bethesda, Maryland!