Eh, buy a pie of your own beforehand, and then WRAP THE SLICES IN AMERICAN CHEESE AND JUMP IN FRONT OF A TRAIN

I can't speak for anybody else, but I think you really have to wait until at least 4:00pm on the previous year's Black Friday.

As much as I'd like to see an inaugural entry into the Foodspin Wing of the DSHOF, I don't think this is worth my vote.

I will give thanks to the cornucopia of riches that will spring forth on a cross-post to Jezebel.

Why bother negotiating? It's not like he'd ever take no for an answer.

Cue the people who don't know how countdowns work in 3...2...1....

Hahahaha that's pretty hilarious. Nice work.

Its not "impossible to discern the exact nature of their operations" - just pull up Google Maps and figure it out after your boat ride. I saw a smokestack across the Estuary from Southend-on-Sea a couple years ago when I visited there, pulled out my phone, and figured out it was the Grain Power Station in about 5…

I really hope this story has a happy ending.

"Over the years, black soap has gained quite a strong following, thanks in great part to word of mouth on the Internet. Many small companies carry authentic African Black Soaps that are imported directly from Africa. Without doubt, these genuine soaps are the ones to purchase - those processed in other countries may…

Even though it really doesn't look like it, the deal was apparently consensual.

Commenters: Rape jokes aren't funny and we don't want them on the site. Knock it off.

Mike Breen is the best straight man in the business. This is some Imus in the Morning 20/20 Sports level stuff.

Hoboken, NJ. Bar is called Mulligans, the urinals have little soccer goals over the drains with a tiny soccer ball tied to them. I think I scored 10 goals in a single piss once.

Has anyone talked to Father Enoch Root yet? The Shaftoe's or Randy Waterhouse might have some idea's as well.

"Yup. Only China and Skeletons. That's all we found there. Nothing else. So don't even bother looking yourself. Anybody got a deck of cards?" Said the expeditions Captain, Enoch Root.

A pro Nazi? You mean I could be getting paid for that?