Fried pies need this.... Fried pies stamped “CHERRY”!!

Also, here are five and a half country songs about grown ups fucking:

Ah yes, body like a backroad.

Cats, especially obese cats, are prone to fatty liver disease (feline hepatic lipidosis), which is very serious and often fatal. If the cat hasn’t eaten in a few days or if it’s a fat cat losing weight too quickly, their liver can get overwhelmed with fat and shut down, sending the cat into fatal liver failure.

It’s actually much safer for both the cats and the local wildlife if cats are kept inside, and cats can live perfectly healthy and much longer lives if they are kept inside. Not only is the risk of a cat being injured or killed very high if they are outside (I see a dead cat that’s been run over almost weekly in my…

Wayne did.

I just don’t understand why scientists try to continue to interfere with God’s plan for Charlie.

Cool Whip is fucking disgusting.

Alex Kingston did a better Indiana Jones as River Song

Trying to think of a context in which “do you know who I am?” would be appropriate and I’m hard pressed. Maybe when your spouse just wakes up from a ten year coma?

Is that you in the picture? I don’t want to offend; it’s just that.... well, the sleeveless sweatshirt is very methadone chic. You look like you just got out of the pain clinic and are ready to sling some oxies.

Haven’t you ever seen an old movie? You move to Reno! Then you can be a classy, old school Reno Divorceé.

To paraphrase, “Parenting is struggle, princess. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

This reminds my random mind of a story, where my husband had a ‘friendship’ with a goose who lived in the park-area around his workplace. He named her Gertrude (or Gurty, like the character in ET), and he really liked her. Then, one day, She was out there hanging out with Richard, and my husband was over the moon!…

One sure sign this is correct: every single person (read: psycho) that has an inspirational quote in their email signature uses some odd ass font for the quote. Exponential crazy.

It can be 110°F and I still drink my coffee hot, nothing is going to take my hot coffee from my sweaty melting hands.

Oh, thank the gods I just ate lunch or this would’ve sent me scurrying off to Popeyes and therefore out $15...

Mope Diamond

Did someone say MUTHUR?

“For some reason, this issue of the horrific, reawakened old ones has become a paramount issue for the planet.” President Pence, 2018