<grabs your ass>

I’m an adult now with a good life, but I was a child with a mother like the women in these stories. She was stripped of her parental rights by a Midwestern state in the early 90s. I don’t know how much you all know about the Midwest, but for my home state to decide that a woman was not fit to parent, her behavior had…

“And I hope that you die/ And your death’ll come soon/ I will follow your casket/ In the pale afternoon/ And I’ll watch while you’re lowered/ Down to your deathbed/ And I’ll stand over your grave/ ‘Til I’m sure that you’re dead.” -Bob Dylan.

Apparently Olds all get the same handbook, because despite being childfree I desperately want to scold Lea Michele for jumping on her bed. Getting that much air has to be killing the springs.

So awesome use of song in Silence of the Lambs

It just seems cheesy for the Gilmore Girls to cash in on the current It craze with those balloons.

I guess I shouldn’t judge, I read a fair amount of Anne Rice as a kid.

And, upon reading the title, the very first thing that came to mind was this wonderful gem from Indigo Girls (and Michael Stipe) from the early 90s:

Man, remember when all it took to set a temple right was one guy with a whip?

it’s good at killing fruit flies.

I have it on good authority that she only converted for the jokes.

When my oldest was a two-week-old newborn, I had him in his carseat, on the floor, next to the piano, where I sat on an inflatable rubber donut (omg the pain from that birth) and practiced for an upcoming audition. I didn’t know yet about having the arm of the carseat locked...so I when I picked up the carseat to move…

A male feminist walks into a bar

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

any mention, reference to or actual witnessing of a finger or toe nail bending backwards or bending until it cracks.

You know what. Fuck it. I LIKE Watergate salad. Y’all ever been to a Southern church homecoming in like July or August? Big stinking tent in a parking lot outside a tiny ass backwoods church just full to the brim of old folks and humidity and potluck shit? Finding the piece of table with ice box pies and ice box…

Obviously, he’s going to be renamed Captain James Tiberius Kirk. And he’ll always be a little chunkier than her other cat Spock.

And in Mexico City, we have this....

If anyone needs a model, I am available for your tasteful frumpy nudes.

I’ve got this hanging over my bed right now: