They did Nazi that coming.

Seriously, if he’s bringing me home something awesome or saying “you’ve done a lot this week, sleep in and I’ll do [x]” then I might look at him like that.

Are diamonds a carb?

Same.

Of course it’s Tiffany’s box.

Omg Gillian looks sooooo pretty here (and always, but especially here).

Yeah, that’s what I thought. The “glower and stare blankly” style of acting worked fine in the Fall because he was playing a blank slate of a character. It doesn’t work for romantic lead roles though.

Trick question. It’s not food, it’s medical waste.

Depends how deep one digs.

Working poor in rural communities face difference challenges than working poor in urban communities, but that doesn’t make them any less poor. These houses are not assets with any value for sale by any reasonable measure - these are houses that barely have electricity and running water. Many still have outhouses,…

The best advice I can offer for those wanting to roast garlic:

Always double the amount you need.

Not because different varieties of garlic are stronger or weaker in flavor or heat, or because of clove size - but because that shit is just plain delicious. I’m not going to lie, I ate about half a bulb last night while…

I also eat cheese at night. I’m talking 3am cheese on crackers. I did this two nights ago and it didn’t even register but I now that I say it out loud it is obviously a problem. I have to stop.

From The Guardian:

Problem is, you have to be cool as hell to pull this off, like Carrie Fisher was. If a night-cheese eating loser like myself did this, it would be nothing but side eye from the two people that showed up to my funeral.

My mom asked me if I was interested in downhill skiing and I told her no. That was how Sonny Bono died.

See, this is why one does not actually SKI. One gets dressed up in the cute ski gear and hangs out at the bar in the lodge, drinking.

Here’s one I made earlier:

Already done. I may have used the phrase “clotty globs of dark cherry jello through which someone has run a wire wisk, but they’re dripping down your thighs” as an example of ACTUAL graphic language related to periods.

You could have just grouped them all under the heading “because I’m a gullible fucking moron”.

Praepitcha Smatsorabudh is the grifter and thief that we need and deserve.