I’m importing my coal from China.

Man created God in his own image.

Because God is actually a cat. Ever had a pet cat to see how they behave around you and around what they view as prey? There you go.

With white-tipped paws so it looks like she’s wearing teeny socks? This is consistent with my information as well.

Excuse you.

I have evidence that God is in fact a tiny kitten.

...short-rib burger blend molded into a sad little meat thing, sitting in the center of a massive, rapidly staling brioche bun, hiding its shame under a slice of melted orange cheese...

Be careful mentioning skirt steaks to him, though, he might grab it by the rib eye.

I prefer the shark ones that make you look like you’re being eaten.

Pennywise would make a better president. “Yes, I may be an intergalactic spider from space that subsists on a diet of the souls of children, but even I understand the importance of maintaining a tentative diplomatic relationship with China to protect our economic interests on the world stage. This go it alone…

*Would be a better President than Trump.

After what I just read I find that gif quite comforting.

You know who else had to tell everyone he was smart? Fredo Corleone.

The actor playing Cain is SEX IN BOOTS on Supernatural.

I ONLY BECAME TEAM SAM AFTER MEETING JARED OK? :(

I would give him adjustments he didn’t need. But I’m a perv like that and really just want an excuse to touch him.

I was so confused for a minute there, like why would anyone prefer Sam over Dean? Like, ANYONE.

I can tell you that “Inbred People Playing with Knives, Ends Poorly For the Ginger One” is something that happens around my white family quite often.