Years ago when the world was young I had a (married) boss who showed up at my apartment one night, drunk as a lord, eager to relieve me of the burden of not ever having had sex with him. He had been out with some of the other engineers that night, and they’d gotten to talking about me, and he thought he’d just stop by.

HEY the devil can dress

What we all wish Hillary would say to the GOP:

Please please please reconsider revising this article. Marijuana us dangerous for pets: dogs, cats, and other animals. They cannot process this substance. The ASPCA and veterinarians strongly oppose the use of marijuana even in the presence of your pets.

Yeah, “go to your room!” was never a punishment.

So that’s the problem! I’ve never even been to Albuquerque.

Tiffany,

same. its just idioms and colloquialisms. i know a lot of douchey atheists who say “ONG” instead of “OMG” and i want them all to die.

So true, actual people who work as clowns can’t drive to their gigs already dressed? Some kids will be traumatized to see ‘90s-era Jon Favreau under there.

Not only do I wash my feet, my GF and I give each other sugar scrub treatments at least once a month. It’s awesome.

I wash my feet. But I don’t wear socks like 90% of my life and I’m also a dancer, so my feet are gross.

I am barefoot as often as possible and am also a runner, so sometimes after a long run I get that salt residue from being a disgusting sweater. All of that means I do wash my legs because I wash my feet, but I currently have the world’s driest skin and maybe should stop.

Ask your parents to adopt me. Raylan is charming and manly. I pretend that I’m looking at his badge at his hip, when really I am looking at the package. I wish he had more shirtless scenes. I am removed from my native Texas and love his southern drawl.

I “joke” that my entire family—mom, me, and dad—has a crush on Raylan Givens. It’s actually not a joke at all. So yes, I totally understand the need to comment thusly.

Yeah, why does lactose free milk always taste...cool but not cold. It's like it can't achieve the same temperature in the fridge as regular milk or almond milk. It's like Anti-Freeze "Milk Flavor".

I lived in Charleston for a year and I’ve got to say- WV is a flat out beautiful state. But yeah, down on the Mingo road, it feels like you’ve entered a different dimension.

It’s so not fair to the kids. Change the spelling of your own name if you want, but don’t stick your kid with something they’ll have to spell out constantly for the rest of their lives.

It’s spelled “Raymond Luxury Yacht,” but it’s pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove.”

My childhood nickname was Dolly and my ENTIRE family (immediate and my giant extended family) exclusively still call me that to this day (I’m 31). I kinda like it though.