maybe Trump is a result of the literal over-abundance of trash in this country - like somewhere there’s a landfill that spontaneously gained sentience and compacted itself into a human shape that now roams the country, slowly converting the entire thing into a giant trash dump.

Also, pasta is like... not the dish to get someone laid. It’s the dish for late-night cuddling on the couch while you watch TV.

I thought for sure it would be puttanesca

The only coupons I use are from Kroger. They mail me a pack of a couple dozen, based on my past purchases. Plus, the pack includes generic ones like “bakery” or “produce dept”.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Cruella. Stays on forever and feels great.

Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Cruella. Stays on forever and feels great.

Why did Sesame Street send out a blank tweet?

Pestilence? Death, war? The other one?

I...don’t understand how you can just expect your parents to watch your kid for free. Or if they do it, that they ask not to after awhile. We were always in daycare or with baby sitters until we were old enough to be home alone.

I’m a tiny woman and am often infantilized, or considered ‘too delicate’, or cute, or young, or weak. People who get to know me will all tell me how shocking it was when they realized I’m stoic and ‘scary’ because I’m ‘so little and cute’.

Counterpoint: sex is gross and not fun. Its messy, anxious and overrated, everybody should just be sexless friends.

Our strategy was to not have kids.

This has been my favorite internet picture circulating:

His favorite band is The Replacements, so that's pretty cool too.

Right and wrong matter... UNLESS YOU ARE KILLING WOMEN IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA IN THE LATE 60s, AMIRITE TED!?

It makes sense that fear and pain would impress your herd of hippocampus seahorses deeply, because remembering moments of fear and pain can save your life later.

I am SO SAD that this is the closest I could find to a gif of her pulling out her gum and handing it to Buffy... but I think it’s still pretty close.

*Trump steps up and starts bloviating*

Welcome to Ohio. Make sure when the ascension happens and trump turns into a giant snake, you don’t get eaten.

nah I find that unlikely that they thought this was funny. More like the many many people that work for the convention center and media outlets that were there plus random security companies had someone who thought it would be funny or just like Colbert enough to let him through.

Sounds more like he’s a citizen of the Republic of Gilead to me.