While I agree a great deal of post-modernism theory is pretentious bullshit dressed up in unreadable jargon, its offshoots like queer theory, feminism theory, and Marxist theory all make worthwhile points. These points may sometimes be buried under an avalanche of argot, but there are many brave souls out there…

I keep trying to star this, but Safari is thwarting me. So have a +1 instead!

Rihanna? Honey? That silver strap there looks like you're holding your boobs up with duct tape. And don't even get me started on Miley and the electrical tape. If you're going for the bondage look, at some d-rings or studs to that shit, other wise it looks like you slapped on Home Depot's finest.

Yeah, if you're gonna do thigh-highs with that dress, do something white and lacy at the top. Maybe with purple accents.

Such a thing really does exist. Google it. (And then place your order for a Jackhammer, Jesus.)

Just remember, it could always be worse. It could be someone learning the bagpipe.

On the one hand: another excellent reason for me to mock UPenn (I went to Bryn Mawr).

I wonder if that would work as a defense against a prostitution charge: "I was performing a medical service, Your Honor!"

Thank you.

I think it was more "didn't have a can opener in the restaurant."

Well, when there's at least three varieties of can openers to choose from, a little confusion is understandable...

Woody Allen. Roman Polanski.

Thank all the gods and little fishes Matt Bomer had more taste than that.

Another Williams-Sonoma story:

Not from a restaurant, but from Williams-Sonoma (which some customers seem to think is an all-you-can-eat buffet):

Little early for prom. Homecoming, maybe.

They do realize that drones over airports would get in the way of the airplanes, right? Or am I using Earth logic again?

Change it to a Vikings jersey and carry a rainbow flag and a punting tee. BOOM! You are Chris Kluwe and therefore awesome.

+1 for Paget Brewster.

Hey, service tops are into power bottoms. There's someone for everyone (as long as you are self-aware enough to know it).