I'm a big believer in balanced relationships. Sometimes I want to decide, sometimes I want the other person to decide, and sometimes I want compromise. Always having to decide? Deal-breaker.

According to the ancient Greeks REAL MEN DON'T WEAR PANTS! (they didn't mention women, being misogynistic assholes, but Greek women didn't wear pants, either)

Make an appointment at your local Sephora (if you have one) for a tutorial. When I went, the girl was super-friendly and helpful and did one side of my face and then had me do the other while she gave tips. It was very low stress and there wasn't a real hard sell to buy stuff.

I seethe with jealousy. My so-dark-it-takes-two-bleach-jobs-lighten-it hair and I wish we could go purple.

My shortcut is a baseball cap. Not to wear out the door, but to be worn during breakfast/coffee/clothing selection, etc. It gets most of my hair seated in the right direction, allowing me to skip serious effort unless there's massive cowlick going.

No, it will sound like a wet fart, because that's what this sandwich will do to your bowels.

Well, hey fellow Danbury-area person!

In my neighborhood, it's at least a quarter-mile and a long driveway between houses, so I won't begrudge the kids a ride, especially in 30 degree weather.

Can college students in costumes get candy, provided they put on a skit? Asking for a friend.

You make me feel better about having trick-or-treated in college (in a swanky neighborhood, too). But then, my friends and I always made sure to "work" for our food by putting on a little skit based on whatever our costumes were that year.

The Artisan is a much better machine all around. 4.5 quarts is a weird size, making it harder to buy things like replacement bowls and beaters for it, plus the motor is definitely underpowered if you plan on using it often.

My deep, deep love of footnotes and I salute you.

Initials TC perhaps?

*high-fives fellow fast reader*

Well, things like superglue and scissors count as craft supplies, so buying those at Target or wherever should fit the bill.

She gets some points from me because she puts a majority of the earnings from the show into a trust fund for the kids when they get older instead on blowing it on shit now. Not many points, but a few.

You're right. Real Americans Reaganites bang cows and horses!

If it died a natural death and just happened to wash up in Chesapeake Bay...

Has to be a fake. There aren't any Stop & Shops south of the Mason-Dixon line. That's where Giant-Eagle takes over. If they had said Winn-Dixie or Piggly Wiggly, it would be more believable.

Yeah, but can ve call you Al?