If you don't go, you'll feel like a real boob.

But... but... but... I'll bring snax!

Writing books under a rock! Hi there, Jezebel.

Can I apply to join the Lindy love or, dare I hope, the Consensual Lindy No-Pressure Gang Bang and Eat-A-Thon?

It's hard to know who to root for. On the one hand, LOVE Laura Dern and MISANDRY, obvs. On the other, I have incredibly short arms, so the T-Rex experience really speaks to me. Plus, I wish I could eat my enemies. I mean, I *could*, but it takes so much more effort because I'm human. In conclusion, I want to see this…

But it's up to white women to forcibly save everyone with mini skirts! That's what it says in my Obtuse White Ladies 4 Freedum handbook on page fifty-whore.

It's not me! It's my evil twin! Who is me.

It's so difficult. This is why I'm not president!

"E-con-o-my"? LOL I had to go look that up. But I waited a while while my nails dried.

I would advise anyone to live together before marriage (if you want marriage at all). It's the only true way to know what is what with your SO. I know several couples who went straight into marriage and got some really unpleasant surprises. It's so much easier to move out than to divorce. Take that thing out for a…

I'd care more about domestic violence if it was pink. Pink is, like, the lady signal that I should pay attention to something.

I really don't see what's so bad about transparent yoga pants. Our every activity is for the benefit of men!

Tumblr has shut down Predditors.tumblr.com. Bastards.

Oh, and I write ROMANCE NOVELS. I think I rate a -87598547 on the Deborah Schoeneman Woman-Cosmic Dust scale.

OMG, can you please tell me more about how I'm not doing woman right? If I send you a pic of the jewelry I'm currently wearing, my woman-woman-woman-woman age in womyn years, an ultrasound of my barren womb, and a swatch from my Moroccan caftan, please rate me on the following scale: