The real question is how his handlers fucked up and allowed his guest to retain her cameraphone. This could easily have been a video of him of him doing coke or dropping the N word.

Damn, Jezebel's got talent. The Duchess rocks, literally.

Yes, some of us breathe OXYGEN, and we find the mephitic fumes of their oratory a lethal challenge to our pulmonary capabilities.

Perhaps it was the spirit of Jules Bonnot, the "Demon Chauffeur," who terrorized Paris with his tragic and terrible gang of motor-bandits.

Textbook demon face.

If she was on Kinja and got the Error 503 — Backend Unhealthy, she'd be like NOOOO, BUTT DEMONS.

TBH, I think Robin Thicke kind of looks like a Whammy already.

Yeah, she ninja kicked a stainless steel dildo straight into a fire-breathing villain's chest, vampire style. Pretty rad.

"Come on, big money, no Whammies . . . oh fuck, it's Robin Thicke."

She was just ♪ Tryna find the words to describe this douche without being disrespectfuuuuul. ♪

I always dreamed of ranching about 200 head of Pomeranians.

Gives me this sudden craving for Turkish Delight.

Yes, the European method produces excellent results...

And singing the constant refrain of the thief: "Everyone's stealing from me," and "Everyone's after My Money."

I think you mean more like "unlicensed Thai sex club whose owner is arrested as a result of her tweets." Bieber had to get caught by a paparazzo, but she's out there actively promoting sex tourism as super fun and cool. Your argument is not very logically consistent.

Yeah, hasn't Rihanna already fully Instagrammed multiple visits to various brothels around the world?

I think their management just has better control over them. Probably a lot different for a group member as opposed to a solo artist. Honestly, I figure any kid would be just as horrible as JB if you give them all that money and attention, minus any ability to keep them in line.

MY BUGS, MY BUUUGGGGGGSSSS!

Turns out Madonna University is just outside Detroit.

She has to be pretty much unbeatable at limbo.