I think Michael Douglas ought to be more concerned about his son's raging drug addiction. That's how he landed in prison in the first place, and his inept attempt to have his girlfriend smuggle in more heroin got four years tacked onto his sentence and sent her up the river as well. Then, as punishment for failing a…

I've been reading "Blood on the Border" by Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. He comes across as a complex figure.

He ought to be like Antonio Banderas and welcome his fans to the "How do you say? Ah, yes . . . Tour."

Chingachgook is up there with Zero Wolf in terms of great cinema badasses.

Prune juice. A warrior's drink.

Yah Russel Means!

Maybe Famke is crazy, or maybe this is an actual case of gaslighting, where it's a plot to pack her off to the loony bin or stick her with a conservatorship a la Britney Spears.

Awww. I remember how little they both used to be.

Is there one of those with Zac Efron's face on it, too?

I bet they payed ten grand to get the dog back and make sure those piece of shit extortionist dognappers got zilch. Sounds fair.

Remember at the end when he was all Pantene Pro V? Looked like a totally different person.

It's the Aragorn vibe. Some like it, some don't, and never the twain shall meet.

Awww. My mom was just a teacher. Lame.

Cossack dancing, too.

I remember when she put up Julian Assange's bail money and got all bent out of shape when he ran off to the Ecuadorean embassy, sticking her with the bill. She was all "WTF, dude," and he was like "long hair, don't care."

I kind of feel that way about fake food. I love it and I want to play with it. I was at this cavernous furniture store a while ago, and they had a big room set up with all kinds of different tables and place settings. It wasn't just fake fruit, they even had fake sushi for the Asian style setup. I was in heaven.

Great minds, you know.

Oh yeah. My homegirl Supper Meningitis is all about Hugh Jackman.

What!? Does this mean drop-crotch overalls are out?

Godly teens are on call to exorcise those twerking demons.