Sure, just prep and schedule your tweets in advance. I assume people are already being buried with beloved iPhones and Blackberrys.

Definitely unnecessary to look beyond Gawker Media when you're collecting examples of racism on the internet.

Well, if I was a racist, and it was important for me to be surrounded by like minded people, I might want to give one of the Paula Deen cruises a shot. Could be a comforting experience.

Congrats to Brian Van Holt for sticking it out and graduating to Official Boyfriend. I have to imagine there's a certain amount of self abnegation involved in maintaining Courtney Cox's public respectability. Like disguises and false mustaches and a lot of sneaking in and out of the back door.

In case anyone wants to find Mercury, look for it in the setting sun tonight. It'll be right below Venus and to the left of the twin stars Castor and Pollux of Gemini. In astrological symbols, Venus is holding her hand mirror and Mercury is rocking a winged helmet.

"Décolletage," for the top then.

It's like cleavage for the top, underboob for the bottom, and sideboob for the outer part, but what do you call the inner boob channel between the breasts?

Cheating's definitely beyond rampant in the military, but I mostly feel bad for the guy because he's going to catch HELL from his buddies about the Beebs fitting him with the cuckold's horns.

I think Billy Ray's been cultivating mass as well...

Hasn't it been out for a while that Billy Ray and Tish have been cheating on each other like whoa? The last time they separated was supposed to have been after he caught her in an affair, but they decided to stay together for the sake of Miley's future earning potential. Now, I assume things have gotten serious…

Sorry, The Rock, but I already learned about eating eggs from Gaston, 'cause he's ♪ roughly the size of a baaaaaarrrrrge. ♪

I think her medical training mostly consisted of learning the word "hemorrhage," judging by how enthusiastically she sprinkles it in everywhere. I just want to know if she can spell it...

Seriously, does anyone really think her deposition was the whole truth and nothing but? Cause I think she's full of shit.

Ha! Forget all that, cause I'm a Bitcoin thousandaire!

Doesn't he date Tan Mom?

Should've been safe and stuck with "blood libel."

Maybe it's like at a trial, where the defense attorney goes on and on about how his client is low down scum of the earth and less than a worm in human form, but the jury still shouldn't convict for whatever reason. Meanwhile the defendant sits there and nods along like yeah, I agree with the second part, but the…

Not only does censoring the word "vagina" seem a little prim and old fashioned, but the Xs they used strike me as rather retro as well. Like they ran the offending line up into the typewriter and thunked the X key a few times.

I'm 100% positive that Rachael Ray's employees have some truly hellacious stories about being forced to work without being paid.

This might sound counterintuitive if you're opposed to nasty and trashy, but you might want to check out your local porn emporium. The larger ones usually sell quite a bit of sex type clothing, much of it probably too extreme for you, but if you just want a simple and cheap corset they likely have that as well.