Me too. I'm looking for it on iTunes.

Where do I get a box of rubber fetuses? Because I've got some crafting ideas, starting with tinsel and ribbon and a little coin-sized sequin halo, and you've got yourself some kick-ass Christmas ornaments. Tell me Jezzers, what would you craft?

Her name should have been Mary Jane, obvs.

I have had that shit. I declare you justified. [bangs gavel.]

Conversation with Mr. Luckier last night:

Yes, but saddlebags come in pairs. What was in the other saddlebag, if not your grandmother's twin made of marijuana?

And those footprints in the sand, when there was only one set of footprints? That's when I carried you. Fireman style, because you were drunk.

You're probably right - we need more than just "can sing" for Freddie.

One of my (girl) friends is fucking one of those boys. Not Gay.

How about Russell Brand? Can he sing?

You could just respond "I'm in a rush - I don't have time to explain how genetics work."

Our last two summers have been unusually awesome. Hopefully it's the start of a trend and not just an anomaly

Also, he needs to slow his tattoo roll if he wants a bare patch of skin left for him to tattoo later in life (like when he's 28).

Lindy, that is my favorite ever clip from Honey Boo Boo. "I look like a chunky lemon" spoken in Alana's confident, no shame tone just brightens my day. I link to your blog post with this whenever I want to show someone what a great example of a mom Mama June is.

Screw the democratic process - she can be our new queen.

It is convenient, for unplanned lobster emergencies.

"Five Best Razors for Men." Fixed that for you.

This was one of the first books I read on my Kindle, and for some reason (user error, I'm sure), I accidentally skipped from the first chapter to the last, spoiling the ending for myself. Even so, it was a great thriller. I think Sandra Bullock would do well as Amy — she's America's Sweetheart (TM), but she could…

Or drive around and shout it through a bullhorn, for those who don't read. We could use a Mr. Microphone.

"Honey Boo Boo is a goddamn genius and her family is a model of pure love and loyalty to which we should all aspire." This is so true.