Don’t take this the wrong way, but I eagerly, EAGERLY await the commenters who will try to give you shit for this once this gets shared. They have no idea what they’re in for.

I am the mother of a child with Aspergers. Though he’s quite chill and polite now, he alternated between an angel and a fucking monster from the time he was born until he was four. Lest you think I’m exaggerating, he exasperated pretty much anyone who had to deal with him during one of his meltdowns.

I live in Maine and have actually been to this diner. I think the important thing to know about Marcy’s is that it really is a hole-in-the-wall. There are maybe 5 tables and one counter that might seat a dozen. It is tiny and cramped and hot (because the griddle is 3 feet from the counter), but the food is delicious…

Weekends off are THE SHIT. And schedules predictable beyond maybe a week. I will never forget the glory of moving from retail customer service to stock, where our schedules were dictated by the never-changing delivery schedule.

It's silly, really — most elected Democrats are there to help the very rich too.

Hey, if you’re drunk enough, you don’t care what your food tastes like. I live a few blocks from a DC neighborhood where the go-to food choice after a night of drinking is the jumbo slice.

It’s not like pitchers aren’t ambi-turners. So the back-turned part could be luck really; if the catcher’s throw is to his right he might turn that way. The real thing he was looking at, most likely, was the catcher’s throws themselves. That was a lazy lollipop that spent about 1.3-1.4 seconds in the air. Billy…

Dave,

“I wish I’d ordered a something in a bigger glass. Who is the bar back?”

On one hand, fuck this guy. Fire him if he doesn’t want to do his job.

And goddammit, can we please stop rising for “God Bless America” in the seventh? It’s not the national anthem. I’m not getting off my ass twice in one game to fellate the flag again.

When I was in college, one of my go-to-study foods was dipping graham crackers in can of cream cheese frosting ..or even better, if it was the right time of year, Thin Mints in cream cheese frosting.

Take it from a Seattle guy: this is a bullshit scare-tactic. The NBA uses Seattle in the same way the NFL used Los Angeles for 20 years. They have no intention of moving a team here, because they know the best way to get new buildings for everyone is to leave Seattle open and make threats that local politicians will…

good story, excellent humble brag

On the plus side, you get to wear the color purple a lot more. On the not plus side, we give Kobe the keys to all our players’ houses. He usually doesn’t use the keys at all, but sometimes he does and the great thing is you never know when he will! When he does, it’s just typical Kobe pranks like killing your dog in…

I’m an atheist and so is my ex, and we didn’t baptize the offspring, which was a major big deal for both of our families. My ex’s mother once casually brought up that she saw nothing wrong with a grandmother secretly baptizing her grandchild if the parents wouldn’t do it. I was pretty doormat-ish at the time and…

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

35B/C don’t have guns. They have gun pods, which have failed every single time they were attempted to be used on a previous gun-less aircraft.

We once took my grandparents out to a restaurant for their anniversary. It was an authentic German restaurant, at least as authentic as someone can get in the United States, and my grandparents were both born and raised Germans. For the meal, there were no complaints. It was good food. But my grandpa kept this look on…

I once shorted a man a nickel, you would’ve thought I just ran over his grandchildren with a car made out of Matlock episodes.