FUN FACT SHE IS BFF WITH KACEY MUSGRAVES WHO WROTE MAMA’S BROKEN HEART AND YOU KNOW THEY’RE GOING TO GET SUPER HIGH (OR SUPER DRUNK ON WINE) AND PEN SOME AMAAAAAZING DISS TRACKS.

True. I look forward to some Gunpowder and Lead intensity.

Miranda’s break-up album is going to be SO. FUCKING.GOOD.

wow this is why divorce is legal get away from me

She’ll always be Eva Rodriguez to me.

omg if embryos could develop into pina coladas I would make so many embryos...

And the north has comeonpoppet. What else could I need? But there is that December thing...

I own a penis shaped cookie cutter just so I can mail people a bag of dicks when they need to eat one.

I need Jeb’s address.

THERE ARE NO MORE HOURS. Unless I give up pooping, which admittedly takes a while as i get older, and some weeks it just won’t happen already, but I like to use those precious, constipated moments to do laundry, or sort my pills into that little days of the week box, so I can tell how many days in a row I’ve forgotten…

consent is easy enough for people to understand in plenty of situations-’May I use your phone’, ‘May I borrow your laptop’, ‘I need to go to the store, can I borrow your car’-yet when it comes to sex, people are all like ‘Consent is soooo confusing and hard and stuff.”

I...um...think you need to tell us what it is that you do...

This was my immediate first thought. Maybe they should have to pay $125,000 for every day after that it doesn’t work. Seems a bit more appropriate. Jesus.

Maybe it’s just me, but I would think a broken penis deserves more than $750,000.

I am ashamed to know this, but she was part of the Nickelodeon child factory, not Disney’s.

Then you don’t understand what a huge thing it was to have an African-American family portrayed as having prosperous, educated, professional parents and high achieving kids. That had not happened in American culture before and it was a huge thing for America to look at a Black family and wish they could be like them.

i should maybe. MAYBE. look at the keys OR the screen when i type. like at least one.

NO THAT TIME IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS ART

I think adultosaur would call that a “fucking glorious word salad”... Was that even English?

Kehlani doesn’t lie. You all know she doesn’t, and wouldn’t about something as serious as this.

I have no problem with someone who thinks that abortion is a sin but wouldn't restrict the choice for other women.