Women will complain about anything these days. It’s like, if you don’t want to have your face ejaculated on, don’t injure your shoulder...seems pretty simple to me.

One has to surmise that the Duggars must have pictures of Mike Huckabee naked. With a non-consenting barnyard animal.

would do then, would do now.

No, it’s not crazy, but Bristol deserves all the condemnation she gets—not for being an unwed mother twice over, whose children have different fathers, but for being a fucking hypocrite.

As long as Amy isn’t a stupid asshole like Carrie was this should go well.

I love his Sith Lord tantrums too. He just comes off as unhinged and petulant, which makes sense of your power comes from negative feelings. You would basically end up being a teenager with a light Saber.

But remember, despite the fact they can be driven into a rapey, violent rage by a smile, direct eye contact, or a flash of female wrist or ankle, men are still the wisest, most capable, and most well-suited for leadership than women are.

Is it weird that I feel like this is okay? Like, it should be taught as part of language classes and middle school classes and to everyone everywhere.

I FaceTimed with my 5 year old nephew after he saw the movie, and he said “I want to have the Force and fight like Rey!!” Seeing him idolize a female character in a sci-fi action movie literally melted my heart into 100 tiny feminist pieces.

It also helps that she is just so damn good in the film. Daisy Ridley pulls off the typical Star Wars angsty struggle with the Force without coming off as whiny, something never accomplished in the prequels.

He’s the Peeta. He can be her supportive rock while she saves the universe.

“Hey ladies, do you hate bodily autonomy even more than you hate Muslims? Then become a Hannity GOP tart and meet men who don’t care if you orgasm!”

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Just shrill red puppets.

I remember as a kid hating how Elmo was gradually taking over the show and less and less of other monsters were getting to show up. My favorite Muppet on the show as Grover and he got pushed out pretty hard for more Elmo skits. I think I gave up caring about Seaseme Street after attending one of those Live! shows that…

Because then your mini bigot might be excluded instead of Jazz.

Seriously, they might as well just shut it down and be done with it. I like Dirt Bag and Tweet Beat just fine, but it’s insulting to shut down Milihelen and Kitchenette while simultaneously saying all them silly wimmins care about is gossip and makeup!

Yom Kippur-Coachella. Think about it. We could make a killing.

Even better...Ramadan Bonnaroo. We could call it....Ramadannaroo.

Worst of all? This was the text:

Text message: the new Post-It?