I think it's the emotional stickiness people feel around fighting for custody of a baby you didn't want at the outset — didn't want to such an extent that a lot of money was on the table for the mom if she aborted. Obviously people change their minds about things and might well feel differently after a hypothetical…

Luda must be getting legal advice from Bode Miller.

I know, Brain, but how will we find Lena Dunham, a bulldozer, and 90 pounds of Twizzlers on such short notice?

The more I think about a gender swapped Sex and the City, the more I am intrigued. I'm just picturing a dude obsessed with shoes and his tumultuous relationship with a powerful, wealthy, commitment-phobe lady in a power suit.

The same think we do every night Pinky.

I was honestly pretty meh about this idea until the screeching backlash started.

*It's about Ethics in Our Childhoods.

how in the ever loving FUCK can one accidentally RAPE A BABY? I know some parents will defend their shitty children when the child is accused of a crime. But lady, your son is accused of raping AND MURDERING your grandchild.

Honestly it's shit like this that makes me go, "Death penalty? Meh. I'll allow it."

Having a miscarriage is just proof that you didn't want the baby enough so God decided not to let you keep it, and not wanting the baby is practically the same thing as having an abortion and everyone knows abortion is murder. The previous sentence is a paraphrase of an actual thing an actual person said to my…

I know it was meant as an insult, but FREE MONEY!!! What did you buy?

God, yes, it's like my bone marrow is on fire when I think about him. Jeeeesus.

(I'm going to get a "DON'T FUCK EOIN, HE HURTS YOUR FEELINGS" tattoo across my chest, backward, Memento-style.)

Plz try

The guy whose "thing" was being barefoot all the time. Barefoot Dave.

That'd be 90% of them. Seriously, I can't even narrow it down to a Top 10.

My dad was a philandering narcissist who apparently never heard of condoms, and as a result I have multitudes of half-siblings that are always popping out of the woodwork and coming out to meet the family. I've sometimes bristled under the dysfunction, but I suddenly feel really grateful that none of us has ever…

Imma sit this one out.

I actually loved that movie.

Congratulations, white people! We did it again!