Forgive my ignorance (I never got to join the Girl Scouts), but does hobo stew involve actual hobo meat? D:

I hereby make you an honorary member of my troop, 7477. I’ll teach you how to fold a flag, how to make hobo stew, and how to ice skate. It’ll be awesome.

I have a lot of regrets about not transitioning in my childhood, but not being able to be in the Girl Scouts is one of those ones I keep coming back to.

“Yes, but you ARE an ass and later I will take a nap.”

When I met Brad, he was super nice and very normal person-esque. This was in 08, so maybe he just grew up.

The Pythons, while doing a tour in the US, were invited to trash their hotel room. Apparently the press for the hotels is really good, so they really enjoy it when that happens. And they, being British responded ‘Oh, no no no.’ The hotel owner kept insisting. Finally Michael Palin went into the bathroom and broke a…

If politicians count, here’s my story:

I tried to give him the package

So he wasn’t really acting in his movie “Kalifornia”.

If politicians count, I used to briefly work for a canvassing company(shit job, shit pay)and we all got a free ticket to a Democrat Party fundraiser headlined by Howard Dean like ‘07 when he was head of the DNC. At the time everyday before going out to canvas we’d all put are hands in the the circle and then break…

So it didn’t happen to me. It happened to my older sister. She was a teen during the 80s and is obsessed with Duran Duran. Heck, girl went to a DD concert alone and 7 months pregnant with twins. This has been her favorite band for 30 years.

Wait, did he have his porch light on or not? You can’t suggest candy, and then not deliver. Not even if you’re Indiana Jones and Han Solo put together.

It was a typical night out at the bars in Minneapolis & was having a great time talking to a really nice guy. In the middle of a sentence, Josh Hartnett bounds up to the guy and drags him away while shouting, “No. Beer googles, dude. No. Beer goggles. Beer goggles. No. No. No. No. Take off your beer goggles. No. No.…

I have worked in “show business” my entire life, so I have plenty of celebrity dick stories, but the biggest dick I ever met was in a purely low-key, private, social context and there was no earthly reason for him to be a dick other than pure cussed meanness.

Do politicians count? Tom Tancredo, former Congressman from Colorado who ran for president in 2008 got snippy with me in a parking lot outside a presidential debate in NH. All the candidates had room assigned to them where they could get ready the debate. He asked me for directions to the building. I (recognized him…

If it’s any consolation, he hit on my friend in college and I stole his cell-phone number from her. I pretended to be her and led him on every time he was back in Boston, until I finally got him to show up at the Hotel Commonwealth and cut communication entirely. He got angry and vulgar; if Bob Saget thinks you’re a…

So this isn’t really the celebrity being a dick, but I love this story. When I was studying abroad in Spain in 2007, Superbad had just come out the summer before, and it was opening in Spain in October. McLovin and Jonah Hill were at a club that my friend and I were going to for her birthday; we were leaving for…

GOD I HATE BOB SAGET sorry you had to encounter such a piece of shit

At a Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! NYE show years ago, John Krasinski was drunk af and pushed me out of the way while trying to rush the stage. I fell into my friend as he bulldozed through everyone.

Bob Saget did standup at my College in 2008 on the heels of The Aristocrats. When I was standing in line for the bathroom, he cut in front of me, turned around, said, “Sorry, sugartits, gotta make a splash” and slammed the door in my face.