How to start your day like Mocena:

I want to be a Do something bitch and tell my boss to go f*** themselves. I hope lemon water will help.

Use my phone as an alarm clock? Fehh. I would never. I use my IPad as an alarm clock because HOW AM I GONNA SEE ALL THE DISCOURAGEMENT ON THE INTERNET WITH BLEARY MORNING EYES on a tiny little phone screen?

“very important to me to admit I’ve made a mistake, and without fuss.”

I would like to see this method used with all future interviews with Republican Presidential nominees.

“To me, [the rebel flag] represents the people who they fought to try and get freedom for everyone,” Autumn Crosswhite said. “I don’t feel any hate with it at all. Never in my life have I ever been taught that that is what it meant.”

Oh! Yeah so this was just the test phase to see how women handled the school. It was partly to see how women physically performed at it, but also to see if adjustments were needed to accommodate women. Like, there is a pretty heavy section of your training that is dependent on peer review, and they wanted to be sure…

We’re getting pretty good with the amputations. Very fast.

I’m sorry, sir. But we’re going to have to amputate that boner.

Or “Muslim.”

Replace “small” with “liberal” and their heads would explode. Waaaaaait a minute...

I find it amusing that someone would hold a sign saying “ A person is a person no matter how small” is probably not going to agree if that last word were to be changed to something like “poor” or “homeless” or whatever. I mean, these are the same folks who will foam at the mouth over a fetus that was unplanned,…

It’s nice that women have no achievements that aren’t measured in boners. Please, tell us more about your particular boner. We all care very much.

A few weeks ago, I was in a class for work, and we had a catered in lunch. The girl sitting next to me said, “Oh, I hope they have something gluten free.” I responded with “Oh, you have Celiac disease?” To which she replied, “No, I’m just kindof intolerant. Like if I eat gluten, I get bad heartburn.”

SHAKING BAD

Glitter mapping.

Honest-to-goodness read it as “[...] Full Of Used Tampons,” the first time, which is still good but upon second reading it made much more sense.

Volunteers at the San Antonio bus station have found many families do not understand the terms of their release, and even where they have been handed important documents, they are in English so Spanish or indigenous language speakers do not understand the content