Is she fucking the father? That's the only theory I can come up with for why this vile moron seems more concerned about the father getting what he wants instead of what's best for the kids. Judges like her are evil. That sounds hyperbolic but until you've dealt with a judge or a police officer or any person with…

At this point maybe this should be the new flag

She also organizes my colognes and combs.

I’m a family law attorney, and my office has been up in arms about this all week.

As someone who has worked for united blood services, I can tell you the more experienced phlebotomist work in the centers themselves. I don't know how many calls I received about fuckass bloodmobile workers ruining people's veins. :/ sorry that happened, it's shitty.

I was like “who just leaves a baby on a counter like that!?”

Not gonna lie, thought it was a real baby for a full 3 seconds and was terrified.

your friend is without a doubt living not just her best life, but the best life one can live.

?????

I have a friend who occasionally likes to go on omegle and pretend to be a spider. This is amazing and I am sending it to her immediately. <3 <3

Worried ... Or that your male partners would be intimidated by your vibrator usage?

The only thing cooking has over takeout for me is that I’m more likely to cook a healthy meal than I am to chose a healthy option from the whole constellation of takeout options.

I feel like cookie dough is objectively more delicious than cookies. I don’t even feel like this statement is an opinion. Like, cookies are weird and dumb and frequently gross, crumbly pieces of shit (and even at best, they’re just tolerable), while cookie dough is an extension of the joy of the universe.

Man, suddenly your feelings on cookie dough make perfect sense.

Still trying to figure out why you hate joy

I’ve been working on improving my cooking skills for the past year. This resulted in a very tearful conversation with my husband, where I had to explain that if I was going to spend 8 hours in the kitchen making ravioli from scratch at his request, he could at least take a fucking bite before drowning it in Sriracha.

V…

Way to go, library. After all, you wouldn’t want to encourage kids to learn something and love the library, would ya?

You might consider adding some avocados.