Wait, who is Kim? Where was the makeup done in Mayra’s piece?

May I recommend the phrase “would t be weird if I kissed you right now?” After several drinks? Has worked for me in a similar time of need. Pulling for you girl!!!!!!!!

First they came for our dishware, and I did not speak out—

Does this motherfucker not understand that this is what WE ARE EXPECTED TO DO BY EVERY CUSTOMER? Every time you complain about us taking away your dirty dishes, we get complained at 500 times more for not removing fucking garbage. You OCD weirdshits.

The other night I was eating a plate of noodles, and enjoying it. I was out to dinner with a friend, hunched over a meal we had been planning for weeks. The restaurant was newly opened and highly regarded. Life was good. And the food was great.

I, for one, cannot wait until Ferdman tells us about the time a literal Communist tried to refill his water glass too soon.

Oprah is rolling in her grave

I'm doing ok, just as long as I don't see him I am fine and yourself?

I hate taking a shower in the evening to cool off, only to get out and start sweating again, I hate that I can’t dry my hair because I will die from the heat. I hate the cotton that floats in the air. I hate swim suits. I hate that being outside is expected.

Yeah, I don’t know if this is weird, but I have never peed in a swimming pool. Showers, absolutely, but not pools.

I’m still waiting for breaks in the case of the person who was dumping bodies along the water on Long Island - I MUST KNOW MORE.

The prostitutes or the serial killer?

No problem =). It’s always best when you feel like someone is listening to what you have to say without worry that they are judging you.

No need to explain your marital situation. My best friend has been in a similar situation for a while now, and, well, I just get that it’s never as cut and dry as one expects especially to people looking from the outside.

I can tell you what the flag was created to symbolize. Treason and hatred. Of the need for men to die that other men might be kept in chains.

the debate was had. you lost. by a score of roughly Sherman’s March to the Atlantic to nil. your flag commemorates hatred, treason, and the deaths of hundreds of thousands of americans in the name of preserving white supremacy. Dylann Roof waved it knowing that you and the entirety of South Carolina stood behind him…

THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE.

I stayed in a hotel room w two other girls who ended up staying elsewhere to bang some dudes in bow ties and I slept alone in the room by myself and smoke a J while I watched Law and Order reruns at 4am.

How about a hook-up that took place at my wedding? My then-19-year-old brother who was serving as an usher executed a flawless seek-and-destroy on my husband’s 27-year-old cousin, who was at the time sobbing from a combination of drinking too much and not getting enough attention. He was seated near her at the young…