Even from someone who says, "I am a doctor"

I need this in my life. Thank you!!!

My husband has allergies and when he gets a fit, I go crazy. He never refills his prescriptions on his own, so when he runs out, he sneezes and sniffles and huffs like uncontrollably. And I feel like a monster because I have zero sympathy. Refill your damn prescriptions. Complete strangers express concern and I'm…

Be glad he uses tissues. My father, who is an intelligent and classy gentleman with opinion on opera and PBS mystery programming, uses only his sleeve to wipe his nose.

My partner does this too. I walked into his room with a toilet roll on his bed and my first thought was "ugh he couldn't just move that before I came over? I don't care if he's jacking it but come on man, be discreet.

Then he just blew his nose all night.

Eh. Blowing his nose, blowing his load. It's all messy.

It could be worse. My sister stayed with me for a week and LEFT USED TISSUES EVERYWHERE! The fuck? I was all "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHYYYYYY?!?!" (and I am NOT a "clean person." At all)

D) You are a mad-biologist and it is literally a feathered boa (constrictor) who has become your pet and you want to show off "strangle-chirps" to the world. (That or you discovered the earthly manifestation of Quetzalcoatl )

This is a story of how one of the worst days of my life ended up reaffirming my faith in strangers and in the human race in general.

as a too-old-to-throw-tantrums child, 8 or 9, after a day hiking, Dad would not let me bring my walking stick home in the car. My filthy, rotting, branch I'd been using as a walking stick. Complete meltdown, screaming sobbing in the mud;

This story doesn't even compare...

On a sort of related-ish note, this is my favorite Yelp review of an awesome little local restaurant, that admittedly, seems to keep odd hours and only accepts cash (but is delicious):

So they think it's only racist because of the n-word? Let's do a test:

I seem to have a lot of favourite series on this blog. Go Millihelen!

I promise you that I would. Not because I was so great, but because this was that bad.

If you are breaking out from makeup, you're just using the wrong kind. Get thee to Cosmetics Cop. Either you are using too heavy a product for your oily skin, if you have acne breakouts, or a product you are sensitive to, if the other kind of breaking out. There is a product(s) that will not make you break out. I…

It's seriously one of my favorite stories now but it was SO TRAUMATIZING back then, that woman was evil incarnate. She had to be new at it or under some sort of sales quota that she was close to missing, or maybe she was just the worst person ever? I remember I had sparkly emerald green eyeshadow up to my eyebrow. On…

Best (by which I mean worst) experience ever, I was maybe 16 or 17 and wanted a new eyeshadow. I forget what counter I went to but the woman basically did half of my face, full-on club makeup and then refused to do the other half unless I bought something. I really didn't want the $20+ eyeshadow she was pushing so I…

Mall Makeovers is quickly becoming my favorite series on this blog. I love it!

I wear makeup every day (not schlubby at home days, obvs) and I did not previously believe myself to be unusual in that, and yet somehow this whole series has been populated by women who wear almost no makeup on the regular. I feel like I must be a unicorn. But since I had no idea that I was alone in makeup wearing,…