Your skin will thank you, I promise.

When you are shampooing your hair, do you also shampoo your eyebrows?? I went for a long part of my life not doing this and not thinking anything of it. Now I can’t imagine not doing it.

UUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

Sometimes iPhone auto-correct does us justice. Rarely, but it does happen on occasion.

Uuuuuuuuugh.... I hate Blacklist, but I love James Spader.

I do not think you meant to write Blindspit, but if you did, well played. If you didn’t, still... well played.

Oh, it’s real... this is from ONE production of the Scottish Play that I did: the dude playing MacB got stabbed onstage during a performance, we lost 4 lighting designers due to illness, one of our actresses fell off the stage during rehearsal, 3 board operators fell ill and dropped out, one of the actresses showed up…

Yes, but did he make the side? Because technically, this is all bullshit unless there’s a side included.

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

Just not Jessica Alba’s...

“I thought baking included butter, sugar and water and I couldn’t even pronounce half the ingredients in these mixes. So, we did some research and made our own from scratch.”

I wonder if she’ll need any extracurricular activities or even a good GPA to get into an Ivy League school...

You know what bothers me most about being fat? It’s that dudes consider me fuckable, but not dateable. The amount of dudes that have hit on me on dating websites with “hey sexy, you’re sexy, want to fuck?”...

I love you, Yoga Nerd.

Yea, this shit really kind of made me feel not great, because I am not attracted to a specific group of people and how dare me not being attracted to them. But I am attracted to the individual, not the group. If I happen to become attracted to a fat dude, it’s because I’m attracted to him as an individual, which…

What’s that documentary about the new director who was a dancer at a company and then directed a brand new play?

No joke, I guarantee if it aired now on Netflix or Amazon Prime, we’d get 4 or 5 seasons out of it and it would be winning awards.

Man, I hate this shit.

Dude... you’ve gotta elaborate. What happened? Did you call the tattoo place and complain? Leave a bad Yelp review? Was it infected? ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

I’ve sent a message through the lady network to shut down your access. This “problem” should no longer cause issues for you. We apologize for the inconvenience.