I came across that excerpt a while back and read it out loud to my husband. He cackled at the absurdity. “Oh yeah, YOU GUYS have the complex maze, what with your lack of prostate and dedicated holes.”

I was just about to comment on the obnoxious physical shit I’ve been subjected to that has more than once crossed the line into flat-out assault. One of the things I actually like about the weight I’ve put on is that people (men) are much less likely to try to pick me up now. It used to happen at least once a weekend…

My gymnastics coach was like that, too. Extremely concerned about our safety, always making sure we weren’t pushing too hard for anything or getting ahead of ourselves. She understood that we were kids who had to live in these bodies the rest of our lives. I still managed to cause irreparable damage to myself, but…

“Young lady, I do not want to have to call your mother.”

Even in regular PE nearly all of my coaches were hardass “walk it off, whiner” assholes. In fourth grade I asked my PE coach to sit out because my knee was swollen and hurt like hell, but he wouldn’t let me because I couldn’t tell him how I’d hurt it so he thought I was lying. I pushed through, crying the whole time,…

Years ago, I had to sit next to my dad’s ex-wife’s boyfriend at a dinner and be regaled with his increasingly farcical lies. These tales included being the cousin of “one of the guys in Megadeath”. No name, just one of the guys. But they were totes close. Always with the bands.

This is also all pretty new to him, so he hasn’t quite figured out how much more time it requires and adjusted accordingly. It’s been amusing.

My husband spends so much more time grooming and generally getting ready than I do for anything but a fancy night out. I love the hell out of makeup, but I’m fine going to the store or grabbing lunch with bare face. I’ll throw on whatever clothes I find, make sure my hair doesn’t look too funny, and grab my shoes at…

It’s really gross, and I can’t imagine living like that. I’m not famous, but I’ve caught people sneaking pictures of me (sometimes not so sneakily) in public more than once. I’ve already taught my daughter the fine art of glaring down a would-be photographer until they get so uncomfortable they give up, and…

People really pull through sometimes. Later during the same show I got my nose fractured when a guy got literally thrown (I guess he was being a dick in the pit) and slammed into my face. Everyone who saw it freaked out, held me up, and helped me to the edge of the crowd. I found my way to the bathroom to check myself…

The sense of community created by non-scumbags at shows can be one of the most incredible feelings. I was at a metal show at a tiny, packed club when I was 18 and this dude kept “accidentally” groping me. I tried to move away without losing my view of the stage, but I was right at the edge of a mosh pit too (which I…

I was bakery manager at a coffee shop/cafe when we raised our minimum wage this year. Nearly all our staff already made more than the increased wage anyway, but the owner freaked. She raised prices, changed store hours, and posted a slimy note on the front door explaining it was all due to the wage increase. Half the…

I was raped by a 15-y-o boy in 1998. Internet porn did not factor in.

Yup, just saw one similar yesterday. “I can’t talk about this right now, I just need everyone to send prayers and good thoughts, things are just so bad but I can’t say anything yet, keep us in your hearts”, that kind of deal. I’d be concerned if they didn’t do this like once a month.

I did the same thing, but from my heel up the Achilles’ tendon. I had secretly started shaving, so I came up with some sort of plausible-sounding explanation which my mom bought because I was always bruised and bleeding from some dumb shit.

An almost-local! Woo!

A police state is this man’s wet dream. He tried everything he could to keep our Hispanic communities living in fear. Friends of mine who even looked dark were scrambling to make sure they had their freaking birth certificates on hand.

He went hard after the founders of the New Times, too.

And maybe they also don’t go there because the department heads think they’re all Haitians from a 1950s B movie?

They may become startled, or feel threatened and lash out.