Straps aren’t tied into knot. If you drop the weight they unwind. It’s like dropping a yo-yo, except the string is super short and not attached. Also, Ronnie Coleman is a national treasure. #LightWeight #YeahBuddy

Isaiah Thomas is not Kevin Durant.

As good as Thomas is offensively, he makes James Harden look like Scottie Pippen on defense. Who the hell is he going to guard?

Forget the phone. Look at that chick in the background. “Ah, yeah! Me an nat boy fixin’ ta fuck #MerryChristmasMama”

The vitriol is pointed more towards the Mets and the fact that this farce is even possible than Tebow.

The Spurs also don’t catch any shit when they underachieve.

People would absolutely stop watching the NFL without all the trimmings. You’d have time to realize how very little the ball is actually in play, and a football game is mostly senior citizens deciding where to put the ball on the ground and then telling everybody why they put the ball on the ground where they put the…

Wolves don’t really do the 1-on-1 thing. They tend to do the there’s six of us and all of us are going to jump on you at the same time thing.

He found himself in a pickle on the side.

Why isn’t it on the fighters? These fucking morons know the weight that they have to hit, and they all know how to hit it. The problem is that Khabib wanted to weigh in at 155 and hit the cage 180. Fuck him. If he’s willing to destroy his health for $26k/$26k and a $5k Reebok bonus, why should I give a shit?

She’ll definitely never find a good husband with taeks like these. #Bossy #YoudBeSoPrettyIfYouJustTookOffThoseGlassesAndMaybeWoreADress

Look at Jeff Garcia’s stats throwing to the locker room cancer and his stats when the locker room cancer wasn’t around.

Except Michael Anthony had to spend a lot of time with Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth, who might be the two biggest assholes in the history of art, including Dave Mustaine.

...especially with people living 20+ years longer than anticipated...

Jesus Christ how fucking drunk do you have to be to get arrested for public intoxication in Arkansas

Don’t forget about the 17 year olds traveling all over the world to play professional tennis.

The players on the money making sports don’t have as much access as you might think. Look at the majors on the Academic All-America teams. If it’s in a STEM track, chances are it’s a kicker/punter or from a small school.

Danny Kanell never won a Heisman. You might be thinking of Danny Wuerffel. This is important because fuck that guy.

What do those $6,700 people do?

How and why is Uber spending so much money? Why do they have so many actual employees at the home office?