Yay! An excuse to sing my favorite tiny song.

I can attest to that. I'm married to one.

Croque Monsieur, c'est delicieux

I find egg freezing a bit troubling. I understand it for someone who wants kids but isn't yet paired (and wants to be), but for women in stable relationships, or those willing to go it alone, it seems like procrastination. It's better for the woman's body and the child's health to have the baby earlier rather than…

I never quite got this. Yes, the unexpected rim is jarring, but my thighs would have to be broken for me to fall in. I don't plop down on the toilet seat like it's the couch. I lower. It's a hard surface, why would you just dive your ass on in?

Oh, I really think someone is going to come up with a sarcasm font.

He is my new fake boyfriend.

No, I want to go to the party, I just live in the real world where you are expected to give something, and so what if I see it as a cover charge, they paid a lot for this bash, I should pay my share. Maybe we all should be good intention robots, but people have opinions about gifts, and I have no idea what is a frowny…

Awww. I just want to go to a party with my friends and give them what they deserve for throwing a bash I could get stupid at. Whatevs, but you go ahead and have a good cry.

Huge family, everyone forgets who their 2nd cousins are, much less who gave them the butter dish. Not offended, just want to give the right amount for my relation and consumption. Just like consulting a website for how much to tip.

It's just that I get the frustration of having a big party and a huge bill, so I want to pay the right cover charge. I don't want to be the bad tipper version of a wedding guest, but don't have great means. People aren't perfect "I just want you to be happy" machines and I wouldn't want them to be. I just want to get…

Can wedding invitations just say how much per head the wedding costs? I feel like I want to bring a present/money of the right amount to cover my attendance, but have no idea what these things cost, and my friends are of such varying tastes and means, I just don't have a clue. Yeah, of course, you are just happy I…

Well, yeah. Just sign the paper and be done with it. No way I was trying to plan some party and get all frilly. Screw that. Some Judge eating Bugles asked us to say I do, and then we went to brunch. Perfect. I'm guessing you don't really want to forego the party or you wouldn't be fretting.

I don't really think it sounds like Jeff Goldblum, I just can't stop saying Scoopy. Scoopy, Scoopy, Scooopy, Scoopy, Scoopy.........Scoopy.

No. Video composite.

Any linguist will tell you "proper" language, slang, regionalisms, and all manner of language as it is currently used is valid, especially within a cultural context. Stop being snooty, and embrace all forms of culture in our land, POTUS and FLOTUS sure do.

I know why you call them that, but you disrespect the great lucky cat. Luck may not be upon you for demeaning their great and powerful paws.

I have this strange certainty my aborted fetus was male, and I think about him from time to time. He ages just as he would and looks more and more like his father, a fellow I knew for one day in college. I don't have regret. The right to a safe and legal abortion is of vital importance to me. But, it's good we can…

Are you referring to the Maneki-Neko as a "manicurist kitten"? Lucky cat is beckoning to you to spend your money, but has a lot more going on than that.

Eh, trying to be funny being smart-ass about tedious people who point out erroneous minutia. If you aren't those people, don't worry about it. I'm probably not as funny as I think I am; I won't cry about it.