I can’t get my god damn trap door to open under Trump so he can comically fall into the water with sharks.

get the ladybugs out of the room after he was gone all day and left the window open. we moved him to a different room and just waited for morning when the ladybugs left on their own. every surface was covered with ladybugs

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

“she didn’t tip Sunday lunch waitstaff because she knew ‘that means they didn’t go to church.’”

After the unrelenting gauntlet of misery and human suffering that the news has been lately, this was really great to read. My faith in humanity meter has actually ticked into positive digits for the first time since mid-March.

So I'm black.

It is very difficult for me to fully grasp the fact that when certain classes of people in this country see police lights in the rearview mirror, their first thought isn't "Shit, I hope I don't get a ticket" like it is for me. Their first thought is "Holy shit, I hope I don't get shot and killed right here on the side…

it's impossible to understate how poorly this stuff reflects on the US to outsiders. a while ago I had someone from Kenya ask me about all the cop shootings going on back home, saying how horrible it is. you know things are bad when someone from Kenya shows you sympathy for shit happening in your home country.

Your vision was my reality. My husband and I are both pretty leftist, but due to a combo of years of shaming and religious indoctrination, we were both virgins on our wedding night and spent literal years working through all the issues that you mentioned. It was so traumatic for us that we vowed to not teach our kids…

I just . . . humans start sexing when their sex parts develop. Why can't people whose religions frown upon premarital sex just see themselves as an exception to that rule, instead of some hallmark example for how everyone should be mandated to defy it?

You need to have "the talk" that all introverts need to have with their more extroverted friends and family members. Most of my boyfriends have been pretty good about recognizing when I need a bit of time alone once I spelled it out to them. Initially many of them took it as a rejection (like I was bothered/annoyed by…

I'm slowly but surely starting to kick my agoraphobia's ass and it feels fucking amazing. A few weeks ago I walked four blocks to the grocery store, shopped, and walked home, all without freaking out. Now I can take the bus for about five minutes and go out to lunch by myself, and I grocery shop a few times a week. …

Try to get seeds and starts that are local, as they are more likely to be varieties that are suited to the climate and soil where you live.

I like Ulta better than Sephora. No store associates asking me every 5 min if I'm doing ok and less pressure. Sure the choices are less but that's ok.

I WISH I'd been raised to say no. Not to please everyone. Took a long ass time to determine and understand my worth and the power of that worth. Good on that mom. And both of these teens are LUCKY to have an adult lay it out like it is and now how we hope things will be.

Vagina is too foldy? Sounds like a Yelp review

I worked at a small family owned pizza/Italian restaurant before Yelp was really a thing. My ex was the manager and would shame anyone who was a dick to the staff. Honestly not kow-towing to awful people kept us efficient, kept the overall atmosphere genial which improved everyone's night.

People are so far removed from their food source that a significant percentage don't even realize where what they're eating came from. Meat comes from the grocery store, in nice little plastic and Styrofoam containers, not animals. They wouldn't let animals in the grocery store, it's not hygienic.

Hi, I just had post this reply so you could see it in your notifications. It appears some asshole has hacked into your Kinja account and is posting stupid and unnecessary contrarian posts with unnecessary semantics arguments.

*muffled shouting from kitchen*