Los Gatos police

Now that he’s got some time on his hands, maybe he should get a pet. He could get A Fish Called Wanna Get Fired.

Dear Kevin, the First Amendment doesn’t protect you from the commercial consequences of being a jackass. Good luck selling used cars.

I guess Al Pacino is the go-to actor for movies in which someone’s Sonny is a crime victim.

“His corking isn’t so good.”

From: Peter G.

Albert Belle was arrested for two counts each of indecent exposure and DUI at a soccer game

two counts of DUI

Trump just found out he bet the under on the inauguration attendance.

Judge no Manny, lest ye be Judge.

That’s an icy hot take.

I suppose, but you can’t judge a book by its sliced bread.

Donald Trump body man

Just call him Henry Cabot Dislodge.

If Jeter were dissolved in a solution, most Marlins fans would solute.

Who cares about the rent. Did he announce whether he’s still not gay?

I saw him pitch a game at Citifield in 2015, in which his fastball was topping out at 84 mph. It was sad considering how dominant he had been a few years earlier. I wish him luck trying to make it back; the guy was really fun to watch back in the day.

this also gives me a chance to hit the reset button

Sergeeva’s sled finished 12th

I also signed a contract stating that I would not have one-on-one contact