I’m sure all will be forgiven after the Chief releases his reciprocal list of good N———.

It can be tough to make time to shake hands with the President of the United States when you already made plans to, umm, do laundry that day.

Boy, it’s a good thing he didn’t shoot and kill any Boston University researchers.

Carbonated water has less oxygen than regular water . . . I avoid it.

Been lied on a lot over the years

It’s a nasal contusion for Pedroia.

I was totally outraged until I heard about the great deals at Bay Ridge Honder.

After Thomas reached the milestone, there wasn’t much of an acknowledgement

That kid must be a handful in his pre-KKK class.

Commissioner Goodell has commended the Browns for being the only NFL team with no Pryors.

I’m not going to draw any conclusions just yet. Right now it’s just rumor and Carton.

He asked me what kind of meat I liked

Vicodin, Dilaudid, Xanax, Ambien and THC

Until the ALS sets in . . .

Tom, yes we are working on a concert

Thankfully the Mets helped speed things up by only getting one hit.

*rushes to check if he owes Clark any money*

he allegedly “knocked all the glasses off the bar and pushed her,”

we are looking for old vacuum cleaners

He’s Tim Hobow