I can hardly wait for Ashley Feinberg’s Dick Joke Jamberoo!

He’ll get to compete in the repechage bracket

1,500 words in the average week, or roughly as many as Tom Ley publishes in the average afternoon

Judge: And that concludes the sentencing. See you later, assassinator.

It’s 12:14, and a few sloppy seconds.

They’re only against welfare for poor people.

Now there are two occupations we know Tebow can’t succeed at:

Terry Collins Got Sassy With The Mets’ PR Director

Sadly, this is the closest this 6th round face-puncher will ever get to a Cinderella story.

Gawker Media, which owns Deadspin, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection today

If you listen carefully right after the batter strikes out, the umpire exclaims, “Hey, you’re Boog Powell!”

More like Jim Flippinoffsky, amirite?

EAT MOAR TAKSPAYERS

Investigators asked for anyone who knows the man to contact police.

Things could get really messy when the IOC gets to the samples from the 2012 games

You’ll love next week’s column, when Mr. Boswell will explain how receiving chiropractic treatment from Jonathan Papelbon has benefited Bryce Harper’s career.

The numbers were on Bochy’s side—Jake Lamb has two homers in six appearances against Casilla, and his splits this season are absurd: a .304 average against righties and .125 against lefties.

C’mon, Aroldis, you’re a Yankee now. Don’t you have a cousin you can blame this on?

“Middle finger? Which one?”

He spent the 2015 season on the disabled list after having Tommy John surgery. In February, Murphy was suspended 50 games of the 2016 season after he tested positive twice for a drug of abuse.