He’s so possessive. It’s like nine-tenths of him.

Coke-Fart My Heart

"In the unlikely event of a water landing, you can get your own damn crab legs."

At long last, they've realized that their fans and most of their players have one thing in common - - they should be in AA.

Umm, whatever they ask me to do.

Browns Fined For Being Supremely Disfunctional

Shayanna Jenkins: Would I Throw A Lighted Match In This Oven If My Friend Rocky Was In There?

Worst NTV Spring Break ever.

I can hardly wait for Material Safety Data Sheet Night!

In a related story, Pope Francis has announced that the city's name has been changed to just Louis.

"Let's see if he gets the steel sign here, Jim."

It's about time someone took a stand against collegiate Hayes-ing.

Can the dog take reps at quarterback?

More like Kyle Tsuris, amirite?

"It's got a beat, I can dance to it. I give it a 9."

Flying Leopard, Hidden Drag On every team he's ever played for

Most people his age have gotten into FloRida.

Also, Rolle proposed to his wife after getting a promotional e-mail from Marriott.

The babysitter.

The stabbing victim was taken to Mass. General Hospital with non-life threatening injuries.