Or give them an upper-decker. Muahaha.

Ugh, the people who say ‘they’re burning down and looting in their own community!’ Can fuck off.

It came about because it sounds a lot more legit than “I hate queers.”

a la carte programming isn't the nirvana many people think it will be. If you think getting fewer channels will drastically reduce your cable bill, all that will happen is those more popular channels will increase in cost, and you'll be paying the same bill and getting fewer channels.

OH MY GOD! This made me recoil in horror thinking of the angels in disguise I’ve dealt with as a server. I have crippling social anxiety and rage directed pretty much toward anyone who is not a cat or koala, so serving is a little weird for me. It’s a challenge. It makes me interact with folks for money, though it 99%…

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

I once had a customer who ordered a cheeseburger with Swiss but got cheddar. When the mistake was realized, I apologized and offered her a free cookie. She replied, “Honey, if this is the worse thing to happen to be today, then I’ve got a pretty good life.” After getting bitched at by stuck up college kids and…

“Near the end of my lustrous career I had a drive-through customer who asked for his coffee “stirred twice clockwise, three times counter-clockwise, and four times clockwise.””

May I present one of my favourite Twitter People : Woman against Feminism

I live in NYC. When I think of the “sightseeing experience” here, it’s fucking exhausting - the Met, Broadway plays, Fifth Avenue, Herald Square, Central Park, MoMA, Times Square, 30 Rock, the Empire State Building, Ground Zero, those goddamn doubledecker tour buses. And when you pack all of that in, you’re not…

I’m a “traveller” versus a “vacationer”

I thought I was going to get this resounding, “It’s your body!” and “what a nice guy (tm)“ consensus from the jezebel crowd, but I guess there are two sides to the story.

I’m stealing this from Deadspin, but I think I recognize that turtle...

It seems like you’re expecting him not to have any feelings about what happened, which I think is unfair. If I were him, I would feel frustrated and confused and used. Maybe there are some nuances of his behavior that aren’t coming through here, but just going by what you’ve written it doesn’t seem like his reaction…

Typically on a Saturday night I would be drinking a bottle of wine while ordering take-out and eating it all. Sometimes around 11pm if I was feeling particularly sassy I’d go for round two and order a pizza. I’d be hating myself the whole time. Well, screw that. Today I tried on a dress whose dry cleaning tag told me…

“I can do this.”

Oh my godddd he is so cuuuuuute he wants to be squishhhhhhed and hugged and have his face eaten with KIIIIIIIISES. AWWWWWW.

True story: In the 1950s, my grandmother faked sick once to get out of work. Unremarkable. Except she decided to fake appendicitis. And then she went to an actual doctor and faked appendicitis very convincingly, and NEVER backed out of the act. And then she went to an actual surgeon and didn’t back out from faking…

This eye makeup is phenomenal. It’s subtle enough to not look overpowering but still makes her eyes pop. The MUA really nailed the colors too. It looks great with her hair. A+ work, Portland MUA. (Though I am less enthusiastic about the lips tbh)