1. solidly built or corpulent

Only in my tricks or treats bag. —Charlie Brown

A Florida owl. What a surprise.

If you live in an area with owls, try calling them while you're on your porch/balcony at night. It goes great with a bottle of wine. Just pucker your lips tightly and suck in a little bit to make the sound of a distressed rodent/mouse/rat. Keep looking up overhead as you sip your wine and very frequently you'll…

You haven't had your prescription lenses updated in awhile

I know they are really cute when they are little, but this is why you need to release them back into the wild before they reach maturity and become aggressive.

I always confuse her for Oscar Wilde.

I can't wait for Not Giving A Fuck About What You Wear to be trendy again. Normcore doesn't count.

Spanx are the devil. This is my body, and this is what it looks like. It's not perfect. It has some lumps and rolls. I deal with them. What I refuse to do is walk around all day feeling like a sausage stuffed in a casing.

Are you kidding me? If someone catches you in a flight suit you tell them you were gardening?

I imagine, for a good strapless bra, I'd need something with a scaffolding like support system in front that moves along on a set of rotating wheels while you walk. Like a support walker but for your breasts. That would work.

I spend every waking minute when I'm not in public with my pants unbuttoned. I do NOT have the discipline/obsession level for this.

It's not glamourized, it's just performed by the most beautiful people possible in faux-grimy sets with strangely erotic dark lighting, with women that are frequently half into it...JUST LIKE REAL LIFE!

the graduating class before mine did a safe, funny and endearing prank:

Senior prank or señor prank?

I hope it's paid for by right-wing tears.

that counts as a poodle

I suspect his interest might be practical. Raise your hand if you think he HASN'T had anal in the dark with unfamiliar partners.