The only thing better than the "As you wish" line would be Falk saying "just one more thing" before handing you the tip.

Is it wrong that I'm picturing this guy as Hagrid?

Celebrity Edition!

I've never served, but I did work in sales at a home improvement store for a bit...

This is a blatant ripoff of Rush Limbaugh's ritual before taking a shit.

A good a experience and great tipping (thank you) are one thing; telling a server/bartender you won't be tipping them because of the money you just spent is a such an King Asshole thing to do.

Heh. My grandfather wore white socks and my father considered it hopelessly old-fashioned and just-off-the-boat. So my father wore black socks. My brothers considered this hopelessly old-fashioned and mid-century, so they wear white socks. My hipster nephew considers white socks with athletic shoes hopelessly…

I like to just go for a nice stroll through the fields and then come home and have a cup of tea myself.

Apparently one of the radio stations around Dayton, OH has been playing Christmas music today. If there is a war on Christmas, Christmas is winning like 1023-0

"I've got a whole tray of pigs in a blanket and a cooler with ice cream sandwiches. Meet me at the candelabra in five."

Always make Nimon references.

Misto!! You put olive oil in it and then you can use it as a replacement for crisco/PAM/butter, whatever spray you normally use for cooking. I also mist my salad with it and use it as dressing. Or bread to make garlic bread.

"You meddlesome hussy! Do not touch the sacrifices!"

Ugh. Typical classless movie fan. I'll bet he's never even read the appendices, let alone the Silmarillion...

If I ever get a boyfriend, I'm going to do this but with Doctor Who quotes.

I really hope they asked the frat if they wanted their charter stripped before they did it:

I just laughed myself to tears. omg.

I don't have kids, but I often wonder what I would do if my son was responsible for shit like this. I would die inside, I'm pretty sure, at least.

I think it's high time to get rid of the whole Greek thing. it encourages nothing but cronyism at the best and stupid shit like this in the least.