Oh hell with that. We've eaten out on T'giving a few times at a white-tablecloth place and always had a great experience. And we'd leave a 30/40% tip.

Popeil Whip-O-Matic — with Planetary Action! This baby makes a pint of whipped cream in like 45 seconds. Cold dead hands, folks.

That is the panto-est performance in the history of Who.

I've told my sons, the two legal things they could do to make me cut them off would be joining either a frat or the Marines.

Bless you for the Nimon reference.

I am so envious of her waist/hip ratio.

How have I not seen this before?!?

Sadly, I can say from experience that $2000 worth of beads won't even fill a moderate suitcase.

I deleted 'Crazy'. SO mad about that.

Eh, to me her default is more Bored Face than Bitch Face. I'm amazed by the consistency of her ennui.

Some Americans are just stone-stupid.

Oh, we parents laugh… we just make sure we're out of earshot first.

I don't know why it is, but I can't stand being licked by a dog. It's not a butt-licking/hygiene thing. It's just aesthetically unpleasant.

That's exactly what my boss cat did to every other animal we brought into the house — no scratching, he'd make this fist and whack 'em in the kisser. Nobody argues with 16 lbs of former tomcat.

Want to bet she's expecting one anyway?

I briefly dated a bodybuilder who ate baby food. Literally. We'd go to a ball game, everyone else is eating nachos and hot dogs. He'd open a cooler and pop open jars of pureed beef, peaches, sweet potatoes. 6' tall, 190 lbs, 3% body fat, and he's chugging down Baby's First Carrots.

Amazon is where I go to get reviews. The physical book, from elsewhere.

I'm really enjoying Ben Aaronovich's Rivers of London books. A young London police officer discovers the magic underlying the workaday streets — taking witness statements from a ghost, flirting with the embodiment of a stream, tracking jazz vampires…

Uuuuuggghh, The Alchemist. Kid #1 had to drag himself through that for summer reading, and halfway through said, "Wait. So his destiny is to roam around following his dream, while hers is to sit around waiting for him? That's crap!"

About month before I was due, my friend brought over some packs of onesies and different colors of fabric dye and we spent the afternoon tye-dying the hell out of them. Fun, and it hid the inevitable stains!