baseball games are just three hour windows where white people can stop worrying about all the endless discrimination and systematic inequalities that haunt their footsteps, hahaha

"What could be wrong with large bears on Jet-Skis and Sea-Doos," the crowd pondered en masse as they wet their soles at the fringes of the lake, watching Karl the Kodiak caper across the miniscule wave crests that fluttered and died in the light breeze.

bowden bowed and prayed for forgiveness as he stared into the v o i d .

Of course, if you read between the lines, you'll see that when he says (paraphrasing here) "[I've seen growth in Brandon Weeden and Josh Gordon]" what he REALLY means is "They are cancerous shitmasses that I am making every effort to jettison. Pronto, Tanto."

Wow folks, haha, seems like ESPN does this everyday. Which leaves one to wonder: why are my submissions of homeless dongs repeatedly ignored?

The Worst.

Expression description: bemused contentment, probably inebriated.

I believe the correct past participle of spin is 'spunnded"

Capitalizing "Vagina" implies a proper noun, so what the hell are you really talking about?

Frankly I'm amazed that this is considered newsworthy.

Apparently Brek Shea is Liz Carmouche.

Not playing coy, man, I'm as green as collards.

Running TO the okra patch to load up on snacks, perhaps.

"The usual gang of rascals will be here to tell you jokes this weekend."

"Tell you what, when somebody sues a company and wins, they're entitled to an awful lot of punitive damages and royalties, so because Robin Antonick won his case against EA, he's probably going to get a lot of punitive damages and royalties."

NOTHING BEATS THE BAZE

The Kansas University Charlie Weises will feature a playbook printed on filo dough and all the plays will be named after Mediterranean desserts.

Somewhere in the this story there is a regrettable "Jekyll & Hyde" joke, but I can't tell it properly. It always turns into something else and makes me incredibly angry.

That Yankees fan is the best thing ever, and that's the first iteration of that sentiment.

Ah, Joe Flacco's cousin proudly repping the family by being as quiet, dull and inoffensive as possible while wearing purple.