What a crock of shit.

His mouth said "I own the team," but his posture said "I could be drinking if you weren't talking to me."

What a waste of time.

Tom Rinaldi Reverse Gif: A Tale for the Ages

Most Bored Baseball "Fan"

THAT'S MY BOY

I wouldn't call it libel, but these are definitely some Strong Arm tactics.

Since when did fat John Krasinski play for the Yankees? (upper right)

Best comedian ever.

Apples and oranges.

Joe Buck is going, going, gone, an armada's worth of opiates tickling his veins. Lucky, too, because this shit is well past the foul line and into some hellscape that he had never would've conceived. Here we are, at the All-Star Game for Chrissakes, and ol' Tim is putting on a poetry slam while a very large man runs…

Pictured: Ron Zook trying to keep it all together after having his application for "Elderly Batman Extra" rejected.

Chris Brown is really making strides to separate himself from his mysterious, reclusive step-sibling, Siddartha Brown. Where one knows that struggle comes from desire and objective disputes, the other is all about want-fulfillment and domestic abuse.

oh boy +1

It's a time of celebration in the Big Apple, when Bronx Cheering is replaced by Staten Slappin'.

As is the case with all missing ties, the blame falls squarely on the sequined shoulders of Craig Sager.

Were you on the Zimmerman jury? If so, I can understand. Please send me individual articles, you can do reach me at will [at] kevinnottingham [DOT] com. I'm not familiar with Anzaldua yet, so I'm starting with her.

"Well, shit, I can dunk!"

*bows, trips over own feet, smiles anyway*

Thirstless bro, American beer.