Implying that black people are not, in fact, monkeys, ending the Home Depot's traditional sales pitch: "Black people are monkeys, also our lumber is not costly."

"What in the conflabbit goldurnest rambunctiousness is the meaning of this?" – Stan Ford, ancient prospector (deceased [R.I.P.])

What an embarrassing display of conflation.

sweet mother of +1

I thought they called him all day because he refuses to be "Father Time's bottom bitch."

He plays for the Knicks now, but yes.

DEADSPIN DOES SNARKY MEDIA CRITICISM THE RIGHT WAY

tip to saving money at bars: be in college

Sweet and blessed Allah, Greg Little.

What the fuck are you talking about? What does your ethnicity have to do with supporting a baseball team?

Pictured: Donald Sterling's assistant, living a fever dream on account of the score but smiling maniacally because Sterling hungers for fear. I must not show fear. I must be brave. Oh, Gods, I must be brave.

Not at all uncommon or unexplainable. Like most ostriches, Bosh has merely mistaken a fast-receding hairline for a swiftly diminishing supply of grass. You can sense his urgency in the first interview as he cruises by with displeasure at not being able to graze. He lurks deftly behind LeBron, but Ah! Lebron has…

Fuck you, I'll drown in provel cheese before I let you get away with that!

Coconut Oil>>>

Someone's getting an early start on their Jermichael Finley costume.

It's impossible to critique an in-house article on Deadspin because anything you say is swallowed and killed by an army of sycophants.

The Norman Mailer of condescending sports tidbits.

RIP Darrent Williams :(

," he said with just the barest hint of a glint in his beady black eyes, lips peeling ever so slightly over a mouth that was just too toothy to be friendly.

I am the Sun Bro. Rage of my 'rays raze and raise the Tampa Bay Rays. What are you going to do about it, bro?